Colour Blind, I paint Your Grey Sky Blue
by Faith in yourself
Summary: 'Because it's you and me...against life'
1. Whispers in the Shadows

AarSon – Colour blind...I paint your grey sky blue

Chapter 1 – Whispers in the Shadows

4th of July 2013

The summer sky, captured, taken away, replaced with mist, darkness. The cold saturating the air, the wind distorting the sound, all that was left was noise. Rain spitting against the glass, symbolising the unshed tears of the day, but twisting them into harshness.

But, colour blind, the boys paint their grey sky blue.

The evening draws to night.

The atmosphere electric, the lights highlighting their lives, capturing their every movement, flowing into the moment.

For Aaron and Jackson, were attending a wedding...Their wedding.

The proposal was a risk for Jackson, he had his whole world on the line, held upon the grasp of Aarons hands.

The sunlit night, the midnight sun surrounding them. Aaron had suggested the stroll in the field, the field of dreams, creating the perfect back ground. Grasping the moment, manipulating the wild flowers below their feet, wishing upon them, for Aaron to say yes.

"_Aaron, you know when I said I will love you for life?"_

"_Yeah"._

"_Well... I wanna love you for forever. One day, I will die, and I know you will be close behind, following me into the dark, but, I want to make us official, to show the world we are one...Marry me!"_

It was now time, for their first dance.

Taking their positions, stargazing into the eyes of the other, god, this never got old.

The music began.

"Slow down, make it last

I'm having the time of my life

And take a photograph

I don't want to leave this behind

What seems so out of reach

We're holding it right in our hands

Let's give up everything

Let's jump in and never look back

Slow down, make it last

I'm having the time of my life

And take a photograph

I don't want to leave this behind

What seems so out of reach

We're holding it right in our hands

Let's give up everything

Let's jump in and never look back

This is all I ever wanted

But life got in my way

You're all I ever wanted

I didn't see how it could have changed

That something was missing until today

The city comes alive

As soon as you walk out the door

Another sleepless night

But I don't want to sleep any more

I don't want to sleep any more

This is all I ever wanted

But life got in my way

You're all I ever wanted

I didn't see how it could have changed

That something was missing until today

Climbing so high

Just don't look down

We can see everything from here

For once in my life

Feet off the ground

I don't want to come back down

Take your photograph

I'm having the time of my life

This is all I ever wanted

But life got in my way

You're all I ever wanted

I didn't see how it could have changed

Nothing could get in the way

You're all I ever wanted

Didn't know what I was missing until, today"

(All I ever wanted – Brian Melo)

The night ended with a spectacular firework display, the freedom of the 4th of July within the air, their love, written in the stars.

The colours consumed the dark, lighting their spirits, immersing in the pleasure of each other.

Aaron and Jackson left their reception, fusing, merging, uniting as one.

The night belonged to them...and them alone.

They now set upon owning the early hours of the morning.

"So, Mr Aaron Livesy Walsh, what would you like to do now?"

**Now Rated M**

The question going unanswered. Instead, both men looked into the other, smiling upon the anticipation that forever soared between them, the contagious chemistry that fuelled their desire.

Slow gentle kisses begun, Aaron's lips reaching Jackson's neck, gently licking upon the mark that was permanently stated there. Undoing his lover's shirt, caressing his sculptured body, feeling the man who was everlastingly his.

The heat coursed through his veins, feeling the fire, letting it burn, Jackson, the antidote, the water and the flame, working in unison, the only way they could ever function from now on.

Jackson took control, undressing Aaron, first with his eyes, then with his hands.

Whispering into his lover's ear, the things he wants to feel.

"I need you Aaron, I need to feel you inside me, I want to feel whole...Complete".

Jackson's wish, was Aaron's command.

Uncovering Jackson from his clothes, they both stood opposite the other, flawless, admiring the perfection, the sight in front of them.

Ready to go all the way, to motion to the limits, to push their senses wild, all in the name of love. This is more than want, this is a need, a way of life, a life that would not exist without this.

Aaron gently moved his husband back, both delicately landing onto their bed. Two bodies, colliding gently, breathing in their life, love right in their path, in their grasp, both men morphing into a single spirit.

Aaron set out to seek a nipple, a low gasp of delight released from his lovers lips, never failing to excite him.

Jackson's hand held under Aaron's chin, attracting his attention, gaining his eyes to gaze upon his.

Their foreheads touching, just resting, staring, the only light coming from the moonlit sky.

They are the stars, who no one else can see within the faded light, the night, shinning bright, only detectible to each other.

Their lips touching, flowing together, tongues intertwining, tasting desire.

Aaron clasped their hands together, raising them above their heads, capturing his lover, leaving him defenceless, but Jackson knew, Aaron was his armour, his shield. And Aaron knew, Jackson was his, and his alone.

Aaron released one of Jackson's hands, gently raising his lover's legs with his knees. His hand slowly reaching Jackson's entrance, delicately teasing, releasing the resistance.

His fingers expertly uncovering His husbands light, Watching the pleasure contaminate the face before him, he was ready, to move so naturally, inside him.

Slowly entering, eyes holding eyes, immersing in the feeling, of becoming complete.

Moving together, sharing a life, their skin, saturated with water, their lips just audible, but not coherent, their Whispers in the shadows, just sound, creating the atmosphere of peace, serenity...safety.

...

Hours had past, although the light outside still hiding. Slowing down, to make it last, there having the time of their lives, this is really, all they have ever wanted.

Their hearts racing, the lovers reaching their peak, in sync.

The combustion of colour owning the air around them, the colour of gold, corrupting their souls, highlighting what they are worth to one another.

Jackson held his husband in his arms, his sole purpose for life.

"You've been the only thing that's right, in all I've done. It's not my imagination Jay, you really are incredible... and I've got you".

Jackson held him tighter, placing a single kiss onto his head, simply replying

"Forever".

They lay awake, no light, no sound, opting to stay in the darkness together.

As sleep began to consume him, Aaron mumbled to a still highly alert Jackson

"Bring on the next chapter in our lives".

TBC


	2. Scatter across the Sky

Chapter 2 – Scatter across the sky

August 2013

The midnight sun illuminating through the dark, igniting the spark of the gold stars, the world was alight with the glow of eyes, the dark and the light, the contrast of the same perfection.

They were 6 days into their 14 day honeymoon.

The tropical island, breathtaking.

The heat captivating their bodies, and draining their core, but the water, the blue ocean helping to ease the warmth to a comfortable degree.

The week had evaporated quickly, but they both savoured every moment.

Starting their days early with love between the sheets, ending their nights late with love beneath the stars, immersing in the feeling of new, every single time.

During the afternoon the men never sacrificed the light, opting to brave the burning sun. The beach was situated a few minute's walk from their apartment, relatively and surprisingly quiet for this time of year.

The night brought them to life, the bars loud and atmospheric, just the way they liked it.

But as their nights neared there climax, Aaron and Jackson craved, just each other.

Finding a secluded spot on the beach, they were hidden from the world, surrounded by sand and rocks, alone, in the dark, with just the glimmer from their eyes, keeping a hint of visibility, just enough to see the sight of each other.

They both lay on the sand, propping themselves up with one hand, staring at the now black water ahead, the vision of the moon reflecting in the ripple of the waves.

Aaron, wondering, thinking just before thinking out loud.

"You never did tell me about when you found out you were gay, you told me about when you told your mum and dad, but never about when _you_ found out."

His words, lingered in the air, losing sound beneath the waves.

Aaron's curiosity getting the better of him.

But has he ever heard of the saying, curiosity kills?...

Jackson panicked, the question taking his voice, stealing his life, for just mere seconds.

Taking him back, to where it all was so wrong.

Aaron noticed the startled expression that consumed his husband. Confusion clouded blue pupil's, he now had to discover the truth. To hear, the quiet things, that no one ever knows. Bracing, preparing himself, to feel the cut, opening him wide, the vein that he keeps on closing.

Jackson, looked for inspiration towards the sea, finding none.

He just saw black, feeling the crises he faced, coming right back, he was now afraid, again...of open water.

Feeling the little pieces, of the nothing, just fall to the ground, he transported himself back in time, for Aaron. Wanting him to understand, all the flaws, that once consumed him...

"I, technically found out when I was 11, I was on holiday with my mum and dad in Cyprus. There was this boy, he was about 12, actually he looked a bit like you".

Aaron let out a small laugh, grinning to himself as well as Jackson, leaning intently into him, waiting, preparing.

"I remember asking my mum, why he spoke funny, to which she replied '_he's a cockney sweetheart, it's how people talk in London'. _Well I didn't know at the time people in England had accents!

I remember thinking, looking at him, I don't like you.

But I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

After a while I started to get confused, I didn't hate him anymore. I was waiting for him to talk to me, standing close to him, not exactly sure what I was doing, or why I was doing it.

Then it, then something just registered in me. Maybe I was, maybe I was gay.

But I quickly disregarded it, telling myself that I didn't know exactly what it was, but it was something that I had to keep quiet".

Aaron just sat quietly, taking in all the information from his lover, waiting, waiting for the turn of events, waiting for Jackson's memories to surround the both of them in flames, a fire bomb, but they will not burn alone, they will stay in the fire together.

"We got back home, and it was like it never happened. Life returned to normal, playing football, hanging with mates.

Then it happened again.

This time, this time I just knew. I was 12 when I found out properly.

And I was like...fine.

I decided it best to keep my eyes closed, what I feel no one else has to know just yet, keeping my mouth shut, figuring that my mum would say I was too young to know for sure, knowing she would probably cling on to hope that it was just a passing faze.

Nothing had changed, everything remained the same.

The years moved on, I didn't even think about it to be honest, I never grasped the fact I was lying to my friends, my family...me. I didn't need to pretend too much, just at school if the lads asked me who was the fittest in are year, I would lie and pick someone who was pretty, but taken, so they wouldn't pressure me into asking her out.

Every year or so, I would think about it, properly, asking myself whether it was the right time to tell them. But it never was.

And then, suddenly, out of nowhere...I lost who I was."

Aaron watched the tears fall, shock saturating his eyes, Jackson, now vulnerable, his flaws released into the dark, just for him to see.

Jackson felt Aaron's hand grasp his, taking comfort in contact, but the cold was too strong to be taken away.

"My whole outlook changed, never knowing or feeling anything, but strange.

I pushed everyone away, I completely stopped looking at my mum and dad. My friends didn't know what had gotten into me, I snapped at them for just about anything.

I lost all rationality, I lost touch with sanity"

The claws of the ocean pulled him under, the blackness of the water swallowing him whole, leaving no traces, his inner beauty, torn, ripped apart...his true colours, unable to glisten through.

Jackson's tears surfacing, blurring the vision of the stars above.

"I couldn't understand, why my heart was so broken, rejecting everyone's love.

But after a few months, I worked out that, the lie, was holding me down, it wasn't letting me be the person I wanted to be.

But I just didn't want to let them down.

I was never ashamed of who I was, being gay.

I was ashamed of the fact that I cared what people thought of me.

I knew deep down I was being too hard on myself, I remember hearing the saying, 'if you treat your friends, the way you treat yourself, would you have any?'

I just kept crying, screaming in my head, don't be ashamed...don't be ashamed".

Jackson stopped talking, trying desperately to remain in control, instead focusing on discovering where the sea ended and the sky begun, distracting him from the feeling of lost, that consumed his life. For he lost his smile, lost himself in the madness of his head.

Aaron let the tears slip through his grasp, wiping them immediately, immersing himself in living the former life of his husband, living...then letting it die.

Aaron was the first to break the silence, speaking in a soft whispering tone.

"How did you find your way back?"

Jackson smiled, remembering the night fondly, the night he was undone, then suddenly, thrust into colour, captivated by its light.

"I was in my room, staring at the ceiling, my mum and dad had gone out, I wasn't thinking, wasn't feeling anything. Then...a song came on the radio, the long intro of sound captured me, I sat up, waiting for the lyrics to begin.

I can only remember the first few lines, '_Don't be ashamed, closing your weary eyes, nervous and in disguise, covered in white lies, must be away, no reason to run and hide, you know I'm on your side'._

The song continued to play, I could feel something stirring in me, I could feel life behind my eyes, like I was seeing for the first time, seeing everything clearly.

And I knew, in that moment I knew, I would be alright.

My tears flowed into the night, but it was different, like this was my release, like I was rising from the ashes.

I woke up the next day, my whole outlook changed, the faze over, I had even stopped feeling strange...I had chased the bad things away.

And I told everyone, and I promised myself, either way, good or bad, I was never going to let anything, or anyone bring me down.

Because this is me, I am not ashamed, my life is mine to live any way I please, no apologies".

Aaron, his smile beaming the light of 1000 suns, pride overwhelming his eyes, his life...His husband is incredible.

No words were needed, Aaron held him in his arms.

Jackson felt him, he was wrapped in the arms of his world.

Immersing in the ocean in front of them...they never wanted to leave this moment of unity behind.

They heard the waves gently crash into the rocks surrounding them, watching the gold stars, scatter across the sky.

TBC


	3. Chasing the blinding Light

Chapter 3 – Chasing the blinding light

November 2013

The light shining through the trees, illuminating the lime colour green. The mountains coming to life, with luminosity.

The sound of the stream, bubbling softly in the distance, creating a tranquil atmosphere, lulling there heartbeats to a steady, consistent beat.

But this incredible place, could be anywhere in the world, the only significance, is each other.

Aaron and Jackson, yearned for freedom, freedom from the eyes of the world, the blank, vacant stares of its people. Away from the prying, defying occupants of the village. Never understanding when to keep quiet, when to leave them be.

But now, they roamed this world alone, together.

Ready to show what they are worth.

Aaron and Jackson made the mutual decision to travel. Feeling their youth slipping through their grasp, feeling the need to let go, to run, to bloom, like a flower that was never seen.

They laid out the map, Aaron blindfolded, pointed instinctively, unconsciously choosing, the land of freedom...The United States of America.

Jackson finished his current job two weeks later, accepting no more work for the foreseeable future. Aaron had managed to talk Cain into keeping his job open for him when he eventually returned.

The men used the money they had been saving to purchase a new property together, wanting to make a new house, their home.

They planned to explore the contents of the country, leaving their responsibilities behind, ready to create memories that will last forever.

First stop...Lincoln Nebraska.

"This is incredible" Aaron spoke quietly, too consumed with the view surrounding him to create volume from within himself.

Looking down, into the deep blue waterfall, the aggressive sound contradicting the serenity washing through him.

"This really is something" Jackson was captivated by the sky, within his grasp, the brilliant sun, enticing him to touch, to feel it's warmth, to fall into it's light.

They both sat on the ground, the weather pleasant considering the time of year, sitting close to the border, to the edge of the world.

Their personal space possessed by the other, shoulder touching shoulder, hands grasped, their moment of perfection, wrapped in a state of protection, nothing can take away this feeling of elevation beyond the blue sky.

"Penny for them?" Jackson asked, curious to discover the unreadable expression on his husband's face, that contradicted the light behind his eyes.

Aaron was reflecting, never being so happy, to be so wrong.

"I was just thinking, remembering a time in school, when I was called to the headmaster's office for the 3rd time in just one day, He asked me what the problem was, why I was behaving so badly, so appallingly, bringing shame on to my dad".

The last sentence he spoke caught Aarons breath, not going undetected to Jackson.

"I just, I just stayed silent, no smart remark to come back at him with, willing myself not to let my guard down, using all my strength to hold back the tears.

He waited, then he me asked the question again...and I told him, I told him what the problem was.

I wish I was someone else".

A stray tear gently, slowly strayed down his face, but before he could wipe it away, Jackson's hand was there first, his grasp absorbing the water, correcting the flaws, restoring his grace.

"He asked me why, over and over, I just stared towards the floor, protecting myself from his gaze, hating myself for letting slip, the truth, that distorted my life.

He then said he had no option to speak to my dad, to tell him that something was troubling me.

I begged him with my life, 'please don't say anything, please don't say anything'.

He then asked me again, but I told him it was a lie, that I was just joking...that I loved my life.

He knew, he knew It was a lie, he sat there contemplating for a bit, then said that he would be monitoring my behaviour, and that his door was always open to me, if I wanted to talk.

As I walked towards the door, what he said...stunned me.

'_Be careful what you wish for Aaron...cause you just might get it all' "._

Confusing Jackson, Aaron was smiling widely, the stain from the tear, still evident on his features.

"I wished and wished, and it never worked".

Aaron turned to face him, diving into the dark depths of whirlpools.

"I'm glad it never came true, cause then I never would have met you, my ray of light...my Jay".

Before his words stole Jackson's beating heart, he kissed him, both men discovering, finding out...what it means to be living.

The day vanished, captured, taken away...disintegrating into darkness.

...

Faster, faster, the drumming, louder, louder, louder than sirens, inside their chests.

They were side by side, running through the forest, living before they die.

They both had their freedom...but they don't have much time.

Little did they know, the hills, really do, have eyes.

Aaron and Jackson, were running from the fire, the flames...the men.

They saw the men coming, weaving through the trees, the black green, seen the hunger in their eyes from the distance, the radiation of malice they exuded.

They were heading straight for them.

Jackson was the first to see them, assessing the situation in an instant, pulling Aaron to his feet.

"RUN".

Running, constantly running, through the dark, the only light coming from the moon, the stars, hiding, unable to assist the falling light.

Aaron and Jackson moved together, their hands brushing against each other consistently, their minds concentrating on breaking free from the danger following them, everywhere they went. Too preoccupied to contemplate the ammunition for this thunderous chase.

They could hear them, the men, gaining momentum, with every breath they took.

They could feel them, the four men, spreading their wings, moving to the outside, driving to surround them.

Then suddenly, from the air, a glow, from the distance, became Aaron and Jackson's focus, running towards the spark so bright, they began chasing the blinding light.

Jackson never took his eyes away from it, staring at the light intently, nothing mattered but the ember in the darkness, each step taking him closer, closer.

The light burnt out...

Jackson panicked, exasperated at the disappearance of the cinder, but he could feel that the men had evaporated into the night...

But so had Aaron.

Jackson turned abruptly, he had been right there, at his side, but now abducted by the shadows.

Jackson began searching frantically, began shouting his name through the crowd of the trees, but all he heard...was nothing.

Except...

Faster, faster, the drumming, louder, louder, louder than sirens, inside his chest.

TBC


	4. Falling inside the Black

Chapter 4 – Falling inside the black

December 2013

'I wake up, it's a bad dream, no one on my side, I was fighting... but I just feel too tired to be fighting, guess I'm not the fighting kind. Wouldn't minded, if you were by my side, but you're long gone, yeah you're long gone now'.

He turned the radio louder, drowning out the noise, distortion corrupting the essence in the atmosphere.

He tried so desperately not to hear, but the voices, influencing the thoughts inside his head, are talking so loud...But he was, momentarily, soundproof, for he cannot hear what they say.

The season, changed, the summer gone away, will the air ever be the same? The cold, crippling, like a knife piercing through the skin, damaging the elements within. The frost evident on the ground, the world, shattering, without even a hint of sound, the difference increasing between the feelings of lost...and found.

Colour blind, the blue sky... is painted grey.

Aaron is missing.

Four weeks had past, since he had been abducted by the atmosphere, falling inside the black.

This was strange, twisted and deranged, he was gone, gone and out of reach within mere seconds, Aaron and the men, concealed within the shadows.

The radio was switched off hesitantly.

"NO! NO, I don't want to hear it, don't say it out loud...I just want to drown you out", Jackson sobbed slowly, delicately releasing his pain, his wounds are opening wide, irrationality taking over, coming to the conclusion, he has no one on his side.

The detective spoke quietly, "We're so sorry, but the investigation in the forest will be complete by morning, but the search will continue further afield".

The detective communicated more details, Hazel, Paddy and the entire Dingle family listened intently, but Jackson shut down, slipping away from the room, away from the world, into another dimension.

Time slipped away, but these small hours, remained unchanged, lost...still remained the same.

Hazel tentatively came to him, stroking the side of his neck with her hand as his lifeless body lay on the bed.

Jackson's mind was in turmoil, driving himself blind.

The water escaped from broken, hazel eyes, but there was more than just tears that were lost, hope was gone, faith has dissolved from within.

Jackson, whispered the immortal words he had feared ever since that fateful night, he has finally accepted, the night sky is empty, the stars unavailable to grant the wishes that consumed the depths of his desires, his need for the life that was missing, his lucky star... lost in the dark.

"Call off the search mum...he's not coming home."

"You can't say that, you must not think that, you have to be strong Jackson, you can never give up, I brought you up better than that".

Jackson, peacefully, uncontrollably, shattered, the millions of pieces captured, swept away into the air.

His tears corrupting his beauty, his traces of sanity diminishing within the water.

"It's Christmas Eve, our first as a married couple, he should be home with me."

"Ano love, ano".

"Make it go away...make it go away."

Jackson set free the moans of agony that overwhelmed his soul.

Hazel could not find the words to offer comfort to her son, his pain reflected in his face, in the tears that saturated his eyes, all she could do is watch, unable to pull him from the iron waves of grief, losing his fight, giving in beneath the waves.

12:01 am... Christmas day.

Laying awake all alone inside this room tonight, he cannot be awake, another day. Rummaging through the dark and empty closet of his mind. But he has got all the time in space. His life has been captured, since the day _he_ went away.

For he cannot sleep, cannot breath...until Aaron is back, resting here with him.

The feeling of hollow, immersing through his blood stream, for way too long.

But there's nothing he can do, for deep down, he believes them, the lives in the next room sleeping...Aaron will come back... but will the pieces be able to be put back together?

Jackson's heart was broken, just for Aaron, and the tears he is crying, the arms that are open...are just for him.

But...just because Jackson is hurting, does not mean he is hurt, for he will never stop. The worst will be over, and he will breathe again.

...

The traces of colour, hidden from the worlds vision, it does not exist, the light, abducted... darkness was all that had survived.

But in the night, every once in a while, for a brief occurrence, received colour...

A glow of eyes.

Lost and insecure, they left him, lying on the floor, amongst the dust on the ground.

They had expertly taken him, grasped his presence, skilfully, without the knowledge of his lover.

Simply because they could.

The beating he endured, interfering with the beating of his heart.

Surrounding him, showering him with violence, his body, his head,

Aaron lay, half hidden under the dirt, hurt. Staying alive despite the cold, he has become super human, Jackson has done this to him.

Not understanding, not grasping the miles between him and his life, his Jay.

He could be anywhere in the world.

But he couldn't help but think, feel, that there was more than distance between himself and Jackson.

Aaron's sanity had been taken, the hallucinations obscuring reality and fantasy.

But he will always be a hero...even though he has lost his mind.

The tears gently running down his cheeks, but no one was there, to hear him cry, hear the agony released from his broken body.

But Aaron was smiling through the tears, through the pain, Jackson's face, capturing his imagination, helping him forget the events that had transpired, happy to be picturing something so perfect, so breathtaking.

Breathing in the life of his lover.

Breathing in, breathing out...one, last time.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\_

TBC


	5. Abducted into Dreams

Chapter 5 – Abducted into dreams

The cool breeze splitting the moonlit air, the light showers of snow sprinkling a cold sensation onto his skin, he watched white, corrupt the leaves in front of him. His eyes transfixed, staring intently at the dark, being contaminated, consumed, replaced, covered by the light, the white.

But this was far from, a winter wonderland.

Jackson has been walking for hours on this early Christmas morning, sleep not taking him, leaving him unable to be abducted into dreams, dreams beyond the endless sky.

The night, still evident in the sky.

He could have walked 10,000 miles for all he cared, tiredness lay dormant inside his system.

He has not been perfect, for a long time, and now...he is here again.

The forest, now under the illusion of light, on the trees hung traces of frost, the gold stars, glistening through the branches, guiding the way through the crowd of trees, his head, talking so loud, screaming agony, distress...But no words were thought, only incoherent noise.

He just had to be here, this is the closest to heaven he will ever be, the place, that could have been anywhere in the world, the last place he had seen Aaron's face.

The wind blowing, but the sound undetectable, lifting, sweeping the leaves off the ground, off the trees, into the breeze. Jackson was soundproof, external noise unable to break him from the trance of shock, loss.

The night, was silent, until ...

Jackson broke through the wall of sound, hearing, hearing.

He heard someone, cry out...for all, who care to know.

AARON.

The voice of pain calling in the distance, instantly recognising the familiar essence, the memorable chime in the tone.

Jackson moved, faster than the speed of light, into eternity.

He can hear it, hear the voice coming, he can hear that sound, closer, closer.

Then nothing...

The sound stopped, the stars in the night sky disappearing, forbidding the light to lead the way.

Jackson blindly searched, frantically seeking him, his husband... his lucky star.

Jackson stood still, closing his eyes, giving in to the feeling, the emotion, the sensation, that gravitates him towards him, the unexplainable connection that runs deep within them, pulling their essences together, integrating as one.

Jackson opened his eyes, now moving on instinct, letting gravity draw their souls together.

He found him.

His eyes roamed over his body, crouching beside him, uncovering the dirt from him, his eyes closed. Jackson's touch caressed his face, shock saturating his system, upon noticing the bruises, that are now fading like a flower. An indescribable feeling of not being close enough burned through him.

Suddenly realising, there was more than distance between them.

Aaron was drowning, in his sleep, accepting no more air into his lungs...He was not breathing.

Tears streaming down his face.

"Aaron, no Aaron no, please, please don't do this please...I've only just got you back".

The snow evaporated in the sky, replaced with acid rain, will the air, ever be the same.

Jackson motioned erratically, frustration lay dormant in his core, wishing he knew his current actions were correct.

His hands, pressing, touching his heart, before breathing his fight, his life...his spirit, into him.

...

He was now... a shooting star.

Evident in the day, the light, an explosion in the night, blazing across the sky, the whole world, seeing just what he is worth, even brighter than the moon, the midnight sun.

He will always be unique, irreplaceable.

For Jackson knew...How to save a life.

"Thank you, thank you so much, you have no idea how much I owe you... you will forever be a hero", Chas sobbed breathlessly.

Jackson just nodded, Words failed him, he was too consumed in the moment...he saved him, he saved the wonderful life...and his own life, in the process.

Immersing in feeling the dark black cloud, coming down.

The doctors had told them Aaron had sustained brutal injuries, but they were only superficial, his cracked ribs, the severe bruising will heal.

But he was suffering from hyperthermia, his system is in shock, leaving him too weak to move, they intend to keep him in for a while.

All the people that mattered, were waiting, waiting to see him, each concluding, the four men were responsible for the infliction of agony he has suffered.

"I wonder why the police never found him, they must have walked past him in the forest countless times" Paddy spoke quietly, to no one in particular.

"I was thinking the exact same thing, I mean, he was covered in dirt when I found him, but with so many police officers helping the search, someone was bound to have seen him", Jackson spoke anxiously.

The whole room now thinking, pleading for a justifiable answer to hit upon them.

"But...we don't know how long he has been there, he could have been taken away from the forest and then...put back there", Adam whispered regretfully.

The whole room, forced back into silence, horror corrupting their presence, trying not to think of the ordeal Aaron experienced, but their minds, screaming the thoughts so fiercely, piercing like a knife through their core.

But they were ready...ready to show Aaron all the love in the world, ready to treat him preciously, to heal him, so he can be released back into the dark, to shine with all the other stars, that is what he deserves...it is where he belongs.

The room refocused their attention, upon the doctor who had entered the four walls.

"Aaron is still unconscious, for the time being we can only allow one person to see him".

Jackson stood up immediately, no one defied, he rushed to his husband's bedside.

Holding his lovers hand, sitting quietly, letting the feeling of serenity contaminate his breathing, the worst is over now, he can breathe again.

Jackson did not want to fall to pieces, he just wants to sit and stare at Aaron, he did not want a conversation, he just wants to cry in front of him, to forfeit his emotions, and let them take control.

Seeing his face, he finds everything, he thought he lost forever, he felt whole once again.

But now, looking at him...it's too late, it's taking over him, the feeling of supernatural...all the wonders of the world, have returned home to him...where they belong.

For Aaron's eyes, are opening wide.

TBC


	6. Sail beyond the Sun

Chapter 6 – Sail beyond the Sun

January 2014

The fire flies, surrounding the night, the dark blue sky.

They were now witnessing the world , through brand new eyes.

The fire flies, the only source of visibility, of light, a substitution as the stars and the moon have been struck out, colliding into the atmosphere.

The colours, like explosions in the sky.

The sprinkle of stardust, sweeping through the air, through gravity, falling into the sound of laughter, highlighting the lives below.

The fire burned fiercely, the sparks flying, striking into the infectious humour, that was flowing into the night.

Aaron and Jackson, sat staring, baring their emotions for the other to see, to grasp within their hands.

Aaron was lost in him, like he always is. The dark illustrious warmth, the golden embers that sunlit his spirit, igniting the flames within.

He had been released from hospital 2 days ago, the recovery already set in motion on the road. They were leaving the USA in the morning, craving normality endlessly, Emmerdale beckoning.

The men, the _four men_...remain uncaptured...remain unspoken of.

So, The Dingle family, Adam, Hazel, Paddy and Aaron and Jackson wanted to end the destruction that had consumed their lives for 6 weeks, wanting to feel their survival of their weakest hours, within the air tonight, celebrating their revival into life again, in Miami Florida.

The group, immersing in the pleasantly warm weather, surrounding the fire, feeling their power immerging from the ashes.

The night coloured beach, filled with the sign of life, other lives occupying the sand, all with the same intention...to lose themselves in the moment, to search for elevation and create memories to stand the test of time forever.

"No, I'm not discussing it, its private", Paddy stated firmly.

"Oh common", the group replied in unison.

"No, my love life is confidential, besides, it was 20 years ago".

"Paddy, we have all shared something about ourselves tonight, why should you be any different?" Adam protested, grinning wickedly at the older man.

"No, I don't want to", said Paddy, a child like essence escaping his lips, but his resolve was slipping, not going undetected to the group".

"Oh just tell us, it can't be that bad", Chas said, consuming the last contents of her alcohol.

"Who said it was bad?"

"Just tell us", Chas replied impatiently.

"Ok ...well, my first girlfriend was called Rita, I think I was about 22 when I..."

The whole group interrupted, roaring with laughter, the noise obtaining the attention of other groups of people.

"Well if ya gonna behave like this ..."

"Sorry Paddy...but 22", Adam muttered, in between bouts of giggles, "please continue".

Pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, he continued.

"It had been going well, there was definite chemistry between us, we were dating for around 2 months, then..."

"Then what?" The group again in sync, asked the question.

"Well, the comments began".

"What comments?" Aaron asked, eager to understand the reason for Paddy's uncomfortable posture just now.

"People started to make fun of her, saying the most cruel things about her".

"What things?", they all asked".

"Well, the thing is, the thing was, the things that they were saying, cause she is, was".

"WHAT?"

"...She was cross-eyed".

The laughter that erupted, echoed beneath the waves, the tones, scattering across the sky.

"I'm not telling you anymore you can forget it".

"No, No", they each stated.

Paddy waited until the chuckles were under control, before he continued.

"People can be so cruel sometimes, she was a lovely looking girl.

Even my mates were eventually making comments about her, Rita was oblivious to the jibes thank god... I suppose it was a blessing she was hard of hearing to".

They each looked away from Paddy, desperately forcing control around their minds so they can hold their laughter in, desperate to hear the end of the story.

"The comments were very child like, and confusing. I don't understand how she would be able to see both ends of a bus at the same time.

And, I don't care what they said, I didn't...I didn't look like her carer".

That was it, the crowd burst into uncontrollable hysteria, the alcohol pouring from their mouths, across the air. Their bodies unable to contain the contagious humour showered upon them.

"Oh very mature, that's it, that's the last time I ever tell you lot anything...ever!"

Their chuckles, flowing into the night.

...

Since his return from his stay on the moon, Aaron has been silent.

Not able to explain to his loved ones, what exactly happened in the forest, for he has amnesia...or so they assume.

Silence is golden to Aaron, and he intends, for the time being, to keep this a secret, it shall remain with the quiet things, that no one ever knows.

But little did he know, he is made of glass...to only Jackson...for he can see straight through him.

Strolling along the beach, they left the others by the fire, bonding over tales of the past.

They walked for while, the beach stretching for an eternity, the fire flies, sparkling, their light leading the way.

Jackson, stopped in front of him, reaching out, to caress his cheek, feeling him immerse himself, leaning into his grasp, no words were spoken, they were not needed, the moment lasting forever, but not nearly long enough.

"We will get through this Aaron, I know you don't wanna talk right now, but I'm here for you when you do ...always".

The truth was, Jackson was waiting to understand the dark days, holding his breath, waiting for Aaron to get the feeling once again, reunite them, to capture his imagination, to reiterate the illusions in his head.

Aaron, caught out, realising better than to try to fool the only man, who ever knew and understood his world.

Aaron took his hand, smiling as he kissed his palm, resuming their midnight wander.

His eyes absorbing the scenery around him, Aaron's gaze, focused on something in particular.

A man, and a young child, around 5 years old. Watching them play, building sand castles, into the small hours of the night.

An indescribable feeling, suffocating his soul, catching his breath, a lump forming in his throat.

The image, was fading within the distance, Aaron and Jackson walking beyond them.

What just happened?

Aaron had no idea, could this be...all he has ever wanted?

Aaron looked away, his attention turning towards the sky, his mind, sailing beyond the sun.

TBC


	7. Echo's beneath the Skin

Chapter 7 – Echo's beneath the skin

June 2014

The dark cloud, now containing the long awaited silver lining, although the sun is hiding, the world is illuminated, by all the colours of the rainbow.

The summer warmth, smothering the air, saturating the walls to bleed, to pour.

The heat, corrupting the glass, a thin layer of mist resting upon the window, going unnoticed by the room.

The silence was ringing so clear, echoing, reverberating beneath their skin, until the noise began...

The sound, of a baby's cry.

She was taken, grasped into his arms, his technique, subsiding the sobs, her breathing, lulling into a steady consistent beat.

Jackson watched on, in awe of his powers, of her beauty, gazing into the wonders held upon her face.

"You're a natural", Jackson stated, his voice just a whisper.

He just smiled, his words absorbed, but she had sustained his attention, he was fully engrossed, gazing into her eyes, losing himself in soft, golden embers.

Baby Bella, now the centre of his universe.

"Ok, that's enough, you've held her for far too long...my turn", Saskia said impatiently.

"Erm, excuse me, Bella is my child to you know, you'll just have to wait your turn", Adam chuckled lightly, but the pleasant sound, failed to reach his eyes, unconsciously tightening his grip on her, not ready to let go of her just yet.

"Like hell I will, give her to me...NOW", Saskia stated, in a venomous tone.

Aaron and Jackson were unsure if she was joking, but Adam's immediate steps, placing Bella into her mother's arms without hesitation, told them she was completely serious.

Saskia had really changed ever since she and Adam got married, Aaron made a mental note to observe the situation, he was becoming increasingly suspicious of her after every encounter.

Aaron and Jackson stayed for a while longer, before heading back towards the village, back to their house.

On the journey home, Jackson was lost in images, not noticing the countryside surrounding him, instead, trying to uncover the secrets that forever conspired within Aaron's core. Trying to understand, why Aaron passed upon the chance to hold baby Bella, and why, he never even looked upon her little face once.

Aaron moved towards the living room, swiftly seating himself, erratically changing the channels, his eyes unable to scan the programmes, powerless to keep up with the speed of light.

This was just a distraction.

"She was a beautiful baby wasn't she?" Jackson said casually.

"Yeah".

"And how would _you_ know? You never looked at her once".

And there it was. The mask taken, and dissolved into pieces, Jackson uncovering his turmoil so effortlessly.

Aaron, did not answer, he knew his grasp upon his concealment, diminishing with every breath.

"Please tell me, tell me what's going on in that head of yours?" Jackson asked softly.

Aaron internally combusted, his core shattering beyond his capacity to hold it in, the only way to relieve this hurt, is to set it free...For pain is weakness, leaving the body.

"Do you want kids?" Aaron asked abruptly, to the point.

He analysed Jackson's face intently, noticing the neutral features on his perfection.

Jackson knew he was taking too long to answer, so decided quickly to communicate on instinct.

"Erm, well...erm". A very bad judgement on his part.

Aaron turned away, staring vacantly towards the flickering light on the TV. Frustration evident within his posture.

Jackson sighed, undetectable to human ears.

He gently touched Aarons chin, softly turning his face towards him, eyes connecting eyes.

"The truth is, yes, it would be nice to raise a child with you. In fact...It would be incredible. Seeing you that way, protecting him, or her, keeping them safe.

Holding the baby in your arms, knowing we both would lay down our lives for them, and destroy anyone who tried to harm them, the feeling, it's...it's magic Aaron."

Aaron couldn't defy the love he felt for him right now, nor could he not see the earth behind his eyes moving, the devotion Jackson would offer a child... he would be a great dad.

He rested his weary head in his hands, feeling the blood rush into his mind, the thoughts inside, colliding with one another, but he cannot stop, the feeling he has.

"Was that not what you wanted to here?" Jackson asked, hesitation watering his tone, reluctant to uncover the answer.

"I'm not sure" he honestly answered.

"Is it, is it because, you're insecure about the looks we will undoubtedly receive from ignorant people, or the responsibility of what being a father entails?"

"Neither".

"Then what?" Jackson whispered, now completely bemused over the reason.

Aaron looked away, unsure of how to proceed, to explain. His anguish reflected in the water, now smearing his reflection, coursing down his cheeks. The fear of himself, making him feel inhuman, alien beyond the stars.

His soul, alone in the black, the bitter shade.

Jackson reached out, his hand, absorbing the tears, gently caressing his delicate features, looking into his gaze, taking his pain away.

Patiently waiting for clarity to wash through the situation.

Consuming the air surrounding him deeply, Aaron began.

"There are irrational reasons, like, what if, things go wrong, ya know, like, he or she could, become ill or summat.

Ano this is a negative outlook, and ano this is a risk every parent takes, because they know the good, the incredible experiences that happen, far outweigh the bad.

But, what happens if, if something happens to one of us?"

Jackson intently scrutinized his unreadable expression, for he knew the younger man was still holding onto the demons that transpired in America.

The four men, still remained in the shadows.

And Aaron, was still forbidding his heart, to release the hurt into the atmosphere, remaining silent on the situation. Jackson knew one day, one day he will uncover the truth, which lies in wait.

Aaron quickly moved on from his moment of hesitation.

"What if something happens to the both of us? Who would the child belong to? Who would love the child in our absence?"

Aaron sighed abruptly, "Is this making sense?"

"Perfect sense", Jackson stated honestly, he really understood the anguish that haunted his husband.

"But, the biggest, the biggest thing, that really worries me, is...what happens if our child, is bullied because of...because of us, because of who we are".

Jackson just stared at him, his eyes, boring through his essence, his soul.

Aaron, placing his head in his hands once again, whispering the final instalment of his confession, "I don't want us to be the curse of our child's life".

The silence lingered between them, their thoughts, driving a million miles into the sun, desperately seeking simplicity to absorb the fire, burning their hearts, melting who they are.

Aaron was the first to break the prolonged hush, seeking the attention of soft hazel pupils.

"Jay, I'm sorry, maybe I'm not thinking..."

"Hey, don't apologise, never apologise for how you feel ok? And you do have a point...however, this is my perspective on the situation".

Aaron's attention captured, listening to the words he hoped would shine light upon the cold harsh obscurity.

"Like you said before...having a child does have certain risks, we could lose it all, our hearts, our souls...forever.

But, the good outweighs the bad, like you said. And, although to society we are not yet perceived equal, we to...eclipse the bad.

You have to remember, all children experience bullying for various reasons at some stage in their lives, our child would be no different.

But, there is a strong chance, if not a 100% conclusion, that he or she would be bullied, because of us. But, I know, we would handle the situation accurately. We would speak to the bullies parents, make them understand.

But most importantly, we would teach are child, to be brave, to be courageous, to be strong, they would be our heart...and we would be their armour.

They would grow up in our home, valuing their existence, our influences guiding them in the best direction. They would know, they could tell us anything.

And our love, will enable them to hold on, to be who they are not matter what...because, it's all that we need in our lives."

Both men, showing their emotion, uniting as one.

And there it was, the clarity that Aaron so desperately wanted, clearly defined, by the man that withheld wisdom ...for it is magic, that courses its way through his veins.

"We are somewhat different from the rest of world Aaron, but we are not monsters...we are not wrong. We are human, just like everyone else. We just have to fight for our right to be seen as equal".

"And I'm ready to fight", Aaron whispered delicately, determination lacing his tone.

"I love you", Jackson whispered proudly.

"I love you too", sealing his words, with a gentle, delicate kiss.

Pulling away, Jackson grinned smugly, "So, you want a baby? You want a baby with me?"

Beaming the smile that took Jackson's breath away, every single time, Aaron answered him.

"Yeah, Yeah I do...but, not yet, I want you all to myself for a bit longer".

"I understand, me too, when the time is right then?"

"When the time is right".

The men, grinning from ear to ear, celebrating their promise of raising life, the only way they know how...sharing with the other, a love filled night.

They were going to breathe life, into another, little life.

In this black and white world, their true colours, glistening through.

For they were born this way...they were born champions.

TBC...shortly

**Coming soon, on Monday the 20th of December, (I will definitely finish on time)**

**my new one off AarSon story-**

'**In your eyes, I'd like to stay'**


	8. Silence of the sound

Chapter 8 – Silence of the Sound

**Rated M!**

4th of July, 2014

The supernatural night, gaining light.

For there was, a single star, that lights the road, guiding life, leading them to a place worth more than gold.

The dark, constricted by the heat, enveloping the air, oxygen decreasing with every breath.

But this new season brings with it, signs of hope, allusion of glory.

The sound of water, is taken for granted. Soothing emotions to calm, enriching bones to serenity. The water, drowning the sirens, breaking through distortion.

The sound of their hearts beating, contrasting perfectly to the dripping echo in the tub.

For it feels like tonight, it feels right... to own the night.

One year on, from their official unity into their new life.

The fourth of July, once again, evident in the sky. Signifying beauty, freedom, their love so strong, so powerful, no one can come close, to abducting their kingdom.

Their vows of honesty, never more proven, never more verified than in this moment.

The water, comforting and caressing skin, warming their hearts, and heightening their senses.

They sat, staring through the candlelit radiance, chest to chest, wrist to wrist, palm to palm, forever this close.

Words did not belong in this precious time, the silence of the sound, speaking volumes, losing themselves within dark and light, brown and blue whirlpools, grasping their existence for dear life, this golden hour, will remain for eternity.

"God, do you have to take up so much room?" Aaron sighed, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"I'm not...and I am not god", Jackson stated, chuckling softly to what he thought was an excellent joke.

"Jackson, do you really think what you just said was funny? I swear, _you_ have got problems." Aaron commented, his tone consumed light hearted teasing.

"Ano, a lot of my ex's said that, they never got my humour, they all got bored in the end."

"Too late for me to get out then, I did make a vow in front of all those witnesses", Aaron laughed "It's a good job I do get you, isn't it? Otherwise, somebody else would've", he blushed, still, after all these years.

Jackson watched in awe, the embers fill the colour of his cheek's, the cuteness of Aaron still amazes him.

Jackson shifted awkwardly, moving to sit behind Aaron, wrapping his arms around him, the castle, providing protection, stretching beyond the sky.

"I'm glad you got there first then", Jackson whispered, his breath, caressing, enveloping around Aarons ear, spraying the illusion of the sunlight, in all direction's within his soul.

A tranquil purity, hidden within the water, washing away their flaws, leaving only beauty in its path...the bad things, are never built to last.

"Do you remember our first kiss Jay?" Aaron whispered in the candlelit aura, holding in place, the arms wrapped around his body.

Jackson chuckled gently, "How could I forget? You were star struck".

"I wouldn't go that far" Aaron defended himself, although acknowledging to himself, the kiss, elevated him through the bright lights in the sky.

"I was so scared about doing it, it could have gone either way, I knew I was taking a huge risk...But I wanted you, so badly". Jackson whispered, dropping a soft lingering kiss onto his shoulder, before continuing.

"But, nothing could compare to our first night together, the look in your eyes after you kissed me, telling me this was what you wanted. It felt incredible, knowing I was finally yours. And I knew, I knew when you fell asleep in my arms, you were one in million, a rare diamond, and you are mine.

My friends thought I lost my mind, and to be honest, I did. The only thing that made sense was my feelings, growing by the minute for you, a need to protect you from the world coursing through me.

You have made me so strong, I can move mountains...

Just for you, I'll go to the end of the planet for you if I had to, nothing scares me anymore, because the only thing that matters in this mixed up place, is that I have you, and I never want to let you go".

Aaron, eyes closed, absorbing his words, letting Jackson's heart, Jackson's love, light right in his path, in his grasp...it consumes him.

Overwhelmed by the declaration he has just heard, he moves in his arms, showing that his love, is reciprocated, showing him what he is worth to him.

He claimed his lips, slowly at first, before losing all logical thought, now acting upon instinct.

The kiss became hunger, a sheer divine want, an uncontrollable need, seeking to satisfy the desire that lay dormant within both their hearts.

For they were both drowning, in lust filled love.

Their tongues, dancing in the dark, on their own. Duelling for dominance, in a battle, which both contenders will win.

Both men pulled away reluctantly for oxygen, but the only air they needed was each other.

Aaron moved his lips to Jackson's neck, his tongue trailing towards his chest, unable to resist tasting the water, the diamond sparkles upon his skin.

Until he was unable, to take no more, he needed to make him flourish like a delicate flower, hidden away from ignorant eyes, to feel complete. Gently pressing two fingers inside Jackson's essence, preparing him for their magical journey ahead, their rail road trip to the stars.

Jackson released his approval from his lips, eliciting the most delicate sound. Aaron could see his heart beating, through his chest, he could sense the anticipation his husband was holding in his whole body.

Aaron grasped his hand, while his member softly entered inside his spirit, possessing his aspirations, Jackson's wishes. Moving, ever so naturally, seeking to uncover the brilliant light which lay beneath their souls.

Their chests heaving, in perfect harmony, their love, surrounding and showering each other. Their breathing heavy, representing the stars before their eyes, their quiet moans of ecstasy, symbolizing the fulfilment of their sensual desires.

Jackson could feel Aaron, he could feel him, falling into him, falling like a leaf, falling like a star.

Both men losing themselves, within the euphoria. As if they were leaving their bodies behind, and immersing in the clouds above.

For now, on this elegant night...they are one of a kind

TBC


	9. Evil illusions, conspiring with the lies

Chapter 9 – Evil illusions, conspiring with the lies

September 2014

The shadows, he has cast, radiating in the midnight air, a storm brewing, a pedestal above his head.

For every September, he used to play out in the rain, with nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

But now, he was playing with fire, feeling the flames, and letting them burn, saturating, disintegrating his golden worth.

The misinterpretation, floating around in his head, no one to explain, the dark and desolate contents of his mind, are evil illusions, blurring the truth, conspiring with the lies, forbidding his heart to release the freedom, desperately seeking escape, behind his eyes.

For he wants to travel beyond the depths of the planet, to a place, no one knows his name.

Aaron sat alone in the bar, signs of life contaminating the empty space. Waiting for the feelings to stop, the memories to fade like a flower, to slip away into the autumn moonlight.

Running down the time...before the inevitable.

The crowded lives merging together, swirling into one unidentified colour, engaging with the euphoric atmosphere.

It was clear to see, temptation was all around, surrounding the man, all alone, sat close to the bar.

...

He paced the floor erratically, unable to relax until the younger man was back home, resting here with him.

Maybe he can take the world tonight, magically transforming the wrongs to right, there is nothing that he would not sacrifice, to break through the distance of cold and ice... until they make it, back to the valley of crystal water, where sapphire sky's complement glorious light.

The argument, echoing inside his mind, haunting his vacant stare, reverberating against the empty walls, colliding with his every intake of breath.

How did it ever come to this?

Replaying the dirty words, that each of them said to each other, did they really mean them, did they now?

...

"_Aaron just tell me for crying out loud", Jackson sighed inwardly._

"_It's nothing, it's all in your head", Aaron replied, his body seething with rage._

"_Just tell me, has something else happened?"_

"_Something else, what do you mean something else?" He said, his posture radiating fierceness._

"_Erm, well, erm", stumbling over his words, not sure how to proceed, he vowed never to mention their trip to America again, until Aaron was ready to discuss the events that had transpired within the lost world he found himself in._

_Instead, Jackson decided to drop that thought process._

"_Just tell me", Jackson whispered softly._

"_HOW MANY MORE TIMES", he shouted aggressively._

"_I've hardly seen you lately, you make every excuse not to look at me, all your spare time has been spent down the pub, you've been drinking a lot lately..."_

"_You what?" Aaron interrupted abruptly "Who do you think you are, my dad?" He spat venomously, striding across the room, now glaring menacingly into his husbands face._

"_Aaron, what are you doing?" Jackson whispered gently, trying to calm down his irate lover._

_Aaron looked towards the floor, ashamed of his malicious actions, but defying to lose face._

"_I'm going out", Aaron said, lifting his jacket from off the table._

"_If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back here tonight" Jackson stated firmly, exacerbating the situation to sheer absurdity. _

"_Well, I guess I will have to find someplace else to stay...I'll go look in Bar West for alternatives", He said, his features obtaining an evil essence, like his body was possessed by a despicable spirit._

"_If you do that...there will be no going back, you do know that?" Jackson whispered, the emotional hurt, burning a hole in his heart, represented through the loss of the golden tint, that forever shines so bright within his eyes. _

"_You drove me to this", his last words spoken, gliding softly through the air, like a thousand knives delicately piercing through his husbands chest, he turned and walked away, into the open wild, the door closing behind him. _

...

The memory influencing the tears to come, enticing the water fall to flow into his core, crashing into his aching soul.

Jackson picked up his phone, needing to call him desperately, needing to feel the sun enrapture his skin to heat , calling...just to hear him breath.

...Call rejected.

...

Aaron, the turmoil blurring his eyes to despair, the thoughts inside his head, are begging him to move, to go home, back to comfort, back to Jackson.

But the stubbornness that elicits his irrationality, confuses the truth to invalid.

Upon opening his drowsy eyes, a tall figure is standing just inches away from him. Aaron absorbs his emerald green eyes, dark illustrious hair, his sincere beautiful smile.

"Hi, my name is Edward...what's yours?"

...

The door closing quietly, his home in darkness, an eerie atmosphere contaminating, corrupting the good vibrations.

Jackson remained unmoved on the sofa, patiently waiting to see him.

It was soon, before long...

"Hey", Jackson whispered solemnly, although he tried to force the control around his vocal chords, he failed to conceal his vulnerability.

"Hey, you waited up for me?" Aaron asked surprised.

"I'd hoped you would come home, glad you never gotta better offer", Jackson joked, but his eyes conveyed the sadness that represented the exacerbation of a ridiculous argument.

"Was chatting to a guy called Edward, nice guy, bent his ear for an hour, talking about our silly argument, and at the end of the conversation he asked me if I was ever going to shut up and come back to his place...but the thought of doing so, hadn't even entered my head, so I just thanked him for listening, and left," He chuckled softly.

Jackson rose from his position, closing the distance between them, but his hands were blocked, denying Jackson the chance to circle his arms, like towers, around his body.

The action, leaving the blood flowing, travelling to Jackson's heart, cold.

Aaron, water, brimming his soft blue eyes, looked steadily into his husband.

"I'm so sorry Jay, sorry for pushing you away, I never meant to hurt you. The truth is...I'm not alright, not at all, and it's killing me. I can ignore it, but only for so long. A lot happened in America, and it's time you knew the truth".

Aaron released hold of his wrists, allowing Jackson to caress his delicate features.

Jackson could feel him, falling like a leaf, into his touch, watching the determination of strength, form like fire, inside of Aaron, ready to let go of the black shadows, he subconsciously held onto.

For he was willing, to take stand, to step away from the claws, of the throne of lies.

TBC


	10. Between the light and shallow waves

Chapter 10 – Between the light and shallow waves

The bright lights, highlighting, showcasing his life.

The spotlight, beaming into his star stuck eyes, disorientating the depths of his mind.

For he was not ready, but willing, to take himself back, between the light and shallow waves, upon where he once died.

For Jackson.

They settled themselves comfortably onto the sofa, Aaron, prolonging the confession, about his time, on the darker side of heaven.

Taking a deep breath, before diving into familiar territory, the deep dark water, the ocean spirits, dragging him under, feeling no light, hearing no sound, now entering...the bottomless ground.

_..._

_..._

"_AARON, AARON", Jackson shouted desperately._

_He could hear him._

_He tried to reply to him, but he was pushed, forced, to fall inside the black, there was no going back._

_His body, disappearing away from the forest... _

_Immerging from his collided sleep, the night controlling his vision, no light, no sun, where was everyone?_

_Was he in space where he belongs? Someplace where no one can call him wrong._

_The darkness, enveloping his heart, internally lasting for a million miles. _

_Suddenly, from the depths of the dark, a spark, even brighter than the moon, shone like a star._

_Igniting the light once again._

_A flare, allowing his eyes to adjust, to focus on the presence, he never knew was near him._

_The four men._

"_Imagine if we could live, under the weather, we would never be found, never discovered, if everything goes wrong, in just one night, can you imagine what withholds in tomorrow?" One of the men said, much to the amusement of the other three._

"_Well, I guess you will find out". The four men, now hunting to surround him..._

_His heart, opening wide, bursting with the colours, blue and black._

_Enduring the forces of his nearby nature, he struggled to keep his eyes open, but the words that were whispered, left him on the brink, of a heart attack._

"_By the way, don't bother escaping, because you have nothing to live for anymore, your accomplice, your right hand man...is dead"._

_Those words, those dirty words, interfering with the beating of his heart, soaring through gravity, colliding into his once lively spirit, demolishing his now lifeless soul. _

_The light from the flare, turning his time, to stone._

_They left him in the dark._

_..._

_The weeks came and past, his mind, a stark contrast from the heat of the sun, as he is now, a lonely one...until._

_The corner of his confinement, began to unearth life. _

_The sound of murmurs, continual communication heightening his trepidation. _

_For there were no stars, for light to lead the way, the midnight sun eclipsed. _

_The whispers in the dark, haunting his broken spirit, the distorted, incoherent noise, louder, louder._

"_Who's there?" Aaron spoke, his voice laced with unfounded confidence._

"_Please, please don't hurt me", the voice shrieked, hesitation, fear immersing itself in their destroyed tone._

"_What? Who's there? I'm not going to hurt you, how long have you been there?" Aaron asked, a million miles of confusion clouding his head._

"_...A few weeks more than you, I'm not exactly sure how long", the voice spoke, tears evident in their defeated answer._

_They both sat, unconsciously searching between the blackness, taking comfort in discovering they were not alone._

_But they did not feel like stars...and they cannot regenerate their energy to shine._

"_What's your name?" Aaron asked, breaking the prolonged silence._

"_Casey", the boy answered softly "Casey James"._

"_How old are you?" Aaron asked him anxiously, upon hearing the youthful chimes within his American twang._

"_I'm...16"._

"_Oh my god...what happened, how did you get here?" He asked, shock possessing his tone._

"_I...I was with my friends, they decided to play a little trick on me, I turned my back for a few seconds, then I turned around, and they had gone, I was all alone, in the forest. I panicked, and my lapse of concentration resulted in me going the wrong way, then before I knew it, these 4 guys were chasing after me. I remember everything went dark, then I was here"._

_Silence of the sound, grasping to follow._

_Aaron had to get him out of here, he just had to._

"_Why, for so long, did you not say anything, you stayed quiet...all this time", Aaron asked him, bemusement, pushing his senses wild._

"_Well I, erm...I was scared". The boy answered honestly, his words, overpowering Aaron's barriers, floating away what little defences his has left, more pain, wearing his diminishing heart further to the bottomless soil underground. _

_He was just a child._

"_Well, you don't have to be scared anymore", Aaron stated, but he knew, a vow of protection will not save the lost boy._

_For the 4 men, without even trying, can drag his weathered skin and bones...to hell._

"_You're not from here are you? You're accent is not American", Casey asked curiously._

"_No, I'm not, I'm from England, a small village called Emmerdale, in Yorkshire"._

"_Was Jackson from there too?"_

"_WHAT, HOW DO KNOW HIS NAME, HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM?" Aaron shouted furiously_

_How did the boy know of him?_

_Aaron searched through the dark, the emotion of agony, fury, heightening his senses, desperate to drown out his name, the man, his husband, amongst the aliens, immersing in the shooting stars, locked away, in another dimension._

"_I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I heard what the men said to you, and I, I heard you, you've been calling out his name...I'm really sorry", Casey pleaded, fear of the man in the black, driving him blind._

_Aaron stopped pacing, his heart mindlessly racing, chasing Jackson's memory through light years away. _

_Calming the aura around him._

"_I just want to go home", Casey sobbed uncontrollably "Its Christmas soon, I've lost sense of time, but I know it's coming, a week or so, maybe a little more"._

"_I'll get you home Casey, I promise I will get you out of here", he pledged, regretting his erratic eruption of sheer hysteria. _

"_I'm sorry for what I said, I never meant to upset you...was he your best friend?"_

"_No" Aaron laughed hollowly, smiling at picturing the face of perfection, his Jay, gone, but never forgotten._

"_No, he is...was my husband"._

"_Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I had..."_

"_It's ok" Aaron interrupted "You weren't to know, can we just...no talk about it?" he pleaded softly._

"_Of course"._

_They instead, focused on their plan of action. Their escape, fleeting within gravity, for they will fly, defying their impending irrational sanity, for Casey James, has been dying inside, little by little, nowhere to go, going out of his mind._

_In contrast to Aaron, who was already too far gone, his mind, abducted into lonely darkness, but he will be set free, when his times comes, to hang like a star in the sky, because...that's where Jackson is._

_..._

_The days passed, Aaron and Casey's interaction becoming more comfortable, discovering everything there was to know about the other._

_The four men still to make an appearance...until._

_The light from the outside, blinding, but the energy from the sun, not enough, to explore the sight of Aaron and Casey._

_Charging like asteroids, falling through the ever changing wind, their spirits, crashing through the open air._

_For they were hurricanes, destroying the signs of life who were caught within the crossfire. _

_Aaron and Casey, splitting their essences in two, no longer brothers in arms, no longer in unity, spreading themselves away from the other, in opposite directions, to allow a greater chance of at least one of them, surviving their weakest hours._

_The four men reacted quickly, striving to remain unbeaten by the world, gaining momentum, seizing to attack...the unsuspecting life._

_Aaron could feel it coming, could hear that sound, the bitter shade, no longer evident around his whole body, the light now shinning him, all alone. _

_Calling, calling his name...calling him home._

_Aaron did not stop running, interfering with the speed of sound. Never looking back._

_Hours had past, the miles uncountable, he was now, in familiar territory, running through the trees, the black green, blurring to surround him. _

_But, there is something, he can see, It's boiling in his blood, he thinks he knows, he so desperately wants it to be true. _

_The moon, taken away from him, for such a long time. _

_Stargazing into the silver luminosity, illuminating his soul, radiating him, with its glory. _

_Captivating his senses. Before his body collapsed, falling upon the dust on the ground...waiting to be found. _

_..._

_..._

"I don't even know what he looks like, I didn't get to see his face", Aaron sobbed, tears fuelling the guilt that consumed him.

Jackson held him, his arms, Aaron's armour, his heart, Aaron's sky.

"I honestly don't know if they came after me, I just ran, I never looked back...Casey could be dead".

"You don't know that", Jackson interjected gently.

"Or worse...held captive again, all alone, in the dark".

They stayed, locked in an unbreakable embrace, surrounded in love, an unexplainable grace.

Aaron shifted in Jackson's arms, his head, buried into his shoulder.

"I thought you were gone, I thought I'd never see you again", Aaron whispered tearfully, his words, left to hang in the air, gently floating with the elements in the atmosphere.

"I'm here, I'm right here, and I am not going anywhere ok? I will never leave you. I can't believe what you went through, I'm so sorry I wasn't there", Jackson said, diamonds, releasing down his face,

"I told the police everything I knew, But I guess, they would have contacted me if they had found him, wouldn't they?"

Jackson could not respond to him, for they both knew the answer.

Jackson held him, until sleep abducted him into dreams, beyond the open water.

Jackson will do everything in his power to heal him, to make him whole once again.

For Aaron has only lost his fight...he hasn't lost his life.

For he will never enjoy his existence...living inside the past.

So what will he say, to capturing chances?

TBC


	11. The falling leaf, spiralling into Glory

Chapter 11 – The falling leaf, spiralling into Glory

October 2014

"Isn't it funny being gay, all you want is a man, a regular, ordinary man.

Who drinks beer, talks butch and is overwhelmingly strong.

But...does a regular, ordinary man, sleep with men?

I think not.

So, in actual fact, you want something that is impossible to have...because it's not real...it doesn't even exist.

I think that's hilarious", Saskia laughed uncontrollably, the malice lacing her tone, stunning her party guests to silence.

Shock saturating their systems, her nasty words, enticing unconsciously, their eyes to fall upon the two men within the room, who her predetermined poison was conspired for.

Aaron and Jackson, momentarily bewildered, all they could do was to stay standing, and immerse themselves in the humiliation, now clawing beneath their skin, stealing their dignity, tarnishing their way of life... that nature intended them to be.

Jackson tried desperately to redeem them, for himself and Aaron to rise from the ashes unscathed, but clarity failed him, humorous comebacks hiding inside his mind.

"I think it's time you went to bed", Adam whispered to his drunken wife urgently, but knowing his words would not influence her brazen soul.

"Don't tell me what to do", she hissed back at him "I'm just starting to enjoy myself".

"Who do you think you are, projecting your insults left right and centre here tonight, everybody's equal, because everybody's people", Paddy stated boldly.

"Oh shut up granddad, shouldn't you be tucked up in bed by now watching Heart Beat", Saskia laughed harshly, immorality dilating her pupils to corruption.

"How dare you, don't you speak to my boyfriend like that, I won't have you speaking to my Paddy in that rude manner", Miranda stated firmly.

"Well, he won't be _you're Paddy _for much longer when he realises his laser eye surgery has reversed, and he see's clearly for the first time who he has been sharing his bed with", earning the whole room to gasp in horror at the sinister turn this party has taken.

"I dare you, one more insult, go on, I dare you", Miranda said angrily.

"Oh love, too easy, with those warts on your face and that speech impediment...I could be here all night" Saskia mocked intently.

"I said to myself, I said Hazel, Adam has found himself one big great rabid dog", Hazel spat out from thin air, much to the amusement of the other guests, who tried desperately to disguise their laughter with coughing.

"Erm excuse me..."

"I haven't finished yet" Hazel interrupted her promptly "You are a despicable human being...I wouldn't piddle on you if you were on fire, and if you ever try to humiliate my son and his husband again so help me god I will stick my fist so far down your gob it will appear through your rear end".

The guests erupted with laughter, unable to contain their sheer enjoyment at witnessing the cool water, prevailing against the brutal flame...good defeating evil.

...

The cosmic lights in the sky, magically blooming the dark to gold, the stars, shooting across the world, like a celestial train gliding effortlessly beyond the moon.

Highlighting the fields of dreams surrounding them, as they walked away from the chaos of the party, to make their way home.

The tranquillity of the scenery before them, stirring an aura of serenity deep within themselves, washing away the sins of the shameful atmosphere that Saskia projected upon her nearby environment.

"I'm glad my mum was there, what she said to Saskia was priceless.

I should have been the one to give her what for but...I went completely blank, she just threw me", Jackson said apologetically.

"Hey, it's not your fault, I didn't say anything either, I wasn't prepared as well for what she blurted out.

I do believe there was some logic in what she said about us, but...I know I wanted you so badly, and I wanted you to feel the same", Aaron whispered, his cheeks burning scarlet, the jewel of ruby tarnishing his skin.

Jackson beamed his breathtaking smile, bedazzling the younger man, as usual.

The quiet night, no sight of signs of life, enticing their hands to intertwine, for the rest of the way home.

For they feel like stars...Aaron and Jackson, cannot stop their shinning.

...

"Ano we haven't decided yet when we want to raise a child, and I know there is a slim chance of us adopting a kid who is a few months old...but, I was thinking, if we did, what names would you consider?" Jackson asked enthusiastically, leaving Aaron bewildered, they had just walked through the door and sat down on the sofa.

"Erm, well...I dunno", Aaron answered honestly.

"Ok, well, while you think, I will tell you mine" Jackson grinned, his excitement releasing through his every pore.

"For a boy, I was thinking of, Sam, Cameron or Billy, and for a girl, Lola, Katie or Grace.

"Wow, you've been thinking ahead".

"Maybe, just a little bit", Jackson lied, his soft warm pupils projecting his mask of innocence perfectly...but Aaron could see through him.

"Erm, for a boy, I suppose I like Austin and, Caleb's alright, for a girl, Ellie, or perhaps Lucy".

"Yeah, their good names...so?" Jackson asked happily.

"So what?"

"we've got our shortlist, lets decide the names we would choose", Jackson chimed, his voice representing his sheer happiness in anticipation".

"Jay, come on, we haven't even started proceedings or anything..."

"Oh Aaron, it will be fun, we're having fun, aren't you having fun? I'm having fun", Jackson interjected, speaking quickly, his enthusiasm possessing his every breath.

Aaron groaned shamelessly, knowing Jackson had won the friendly battle between lovers.

Sensing the defeated aura surrounding his husband, Jackson quickly took control of the situation.

"Ok, so, here's how it goes, we like all the names the other picked...right?"

"Right".

"So, how about this, you choose a boy's name out of the choices I stated I liked, and I will choose a girl's name out of the choices you picked, agreed?"

"Yeah, sounds fair."

Both men mulled over the options, carefully considering the names they were presented with.

"Ok, I will go first" Aaron spoke confidently "The name I really like that you picked is...Sam".

"Really, that was my favourite too" Jackson beamed delightedly, hugging Aaron tightly, before pulling away from the embrace to tell Aaron the name he picked.

"Well, the name for a girl I liked the most is...Ellie".

"Good choice, if I do say so myself" Aaron teased.

Sealing their chosen names, with a passion filled kiss.

For they could feel it, something in the water, absorbing into their system, gravity is turning, just for them.

They could grasp the immerging light on the horizon, immersing in the sound of wonder, ringing, spiralling within the illusion of hope, anticipation, falling like a leaf, into the faith of the eternal colour, set to radiate their luminous sky.

Thrusting the men into glory, where they belong. A place, where no one...can label them wrong.

TBC


	12. Put your hands, into the Fire

Chapter 12 – Put your hands, into the Fire

November 2014

"_JACKSON! DONT, PLEASE, PLEASE DONT GO, COME BACK...JACKSON!"_

_..._

...

The dust on the ground, now locked and bound, beneath the crystal ice, contaminating the world in it's path, now confined within it's grasp.

The rain, unable to wash away the sparkles highlighting the earth below, instead, showering, like a fountain, exacerbating the jewels, the diamonds intensifying the allusion of a winter wonderland.

He despised the scenery painted before him, for he cannot connect, with the calm reflection within the water, delicately dropping from the sky.

For he is blinded, by the bitter grey, tainting his colourful ocean, the ripples of the waves, no longer dancing across his eyes.

The deceit, leaving a taste, in his mouth, one which he, could live without.

For the one he loved, has turned their back...and sold him out.

But the cold, he is able to endure, for his heart feels, like an Indian summer...in the middle of winter.

"If you ask me mate you've had a lucky escape, shame it took ya so long".

"ano".

"But still, you got there in the end, you finally came to your senses and kicked out Saskia", Aaron beamed cheerfully, losing grasp of Adam's feelings.

"Well, I've moved out, she still keeps the house, and don't go on and on about how awful she was, she is still my wife and, despite everything, I do love her", Adam stated sadly.

"But you're ditching her right?" Aaron couldn't help check, much to Adam's dismay.

"Yeah we're over, attacking Holly was one step too far."

"Ano, is Holly alright, how long is her arm gonna be in plaster?"

"Six weeks, she didn't deserve it, all she said was her roast potatoes were a bit burnt, and Saskia practically rugby tackled her".

"Mental mate, she's always had a screw loose", Aaron commented harshly.

...

The sun, setting, regretfully in the sky, the dark, immerging from the depths of space, ready to blind the living for hours and hours.

Leaving the people defenceless, running for shelter, searching for armour.

Aaron was gazing in wonder, seeing what it looks like, on the other side of his window at twilight.

No light, no shade, the earth caught between the sun and the moon, the passing of the torch...letting the flames begin.

Enchantment holding his eyes, fascination capturing his mind, his sapphire pupils were stolen, upon the face of his destiny, whom his heart belongs to, returning home to him.

"Aaron" Jackson called, walking through the front door.

"You'll never guess what?" Aaron said, walking down the stairs.

"What?"

"Adam has only gone and finally left Saskia."

"No", was all Jackson could say, a smile slowly beaming in Aaron's direction, Jackson never saw any hidden quality beneath her brazen exterior.

"Yeah, dumped her pretty much straight after she hit Holly".

"Bet Holly had a point though, Saskia is no Delia", Jackson laughed.

"Adam's asked us if we could go round his place though, he needs clothes and some other bits, he doesn't wanna go back there just yet".

"Yeah we can do it later" Jackson said, taking his boots off, relaxing onto the sofa".

"Why not now?" Aaron protested.

"I've just come home, and I want to relax and unwind for a bit, with my loving husband" Jackson teased, holding out his arms, ready to accept the figure standing in front of him, into his castle, surrounding him in a thousand acres of sky.

"Don't be soft, I just think..."

Aaron's flow was interjected, by Jackson grasping his hand, pulling him on top of himself.

Aaron didn't dispute, secretly relishing into the body of his god, breathing in the scent of his skin, falling into him, diving into the hidden depths of his warm darkness, immersing himself in the world of Jackson's eyes.

They lay there motionless, forever, for a while, losing the desire to think rationally.

Taking the world tonight, owning their existence, feeling the warmth, letting it in, lighting the shadows within their souls...spiralling into one life form.

Jackson was the first to break the silence of the sound, stroking his fingers softly through Aaron's short hair.

"You know Aaron, ano this might sound crazy, but, if it was possible...I would have your baby", Jackson said, sighing softly.

"That is the most stupidities thing I have ever heard", Aaron mumbled, rolling his eyes exasperatedly, lost in his own translation.

"Awww, but it would be so cute, they would have your piercing blue eyes and pearl white teeth, and they would have my sparkling personality and amazing people skills".

Aaron chuckled softly "I really have married a man who is off his head haven't I?

And by the way, they would have _your _eyes", he stated firmly.

"No yours".

"No yours".

"No yours".

"Ok, they would have one eye blue and the other one brown, how's that?" Aaron said.

They both giggled gently, their light hearted banter, evolving into love beneath the stars, each ready, to take the moon.

...

"I hope Adam appreciates what we're doing, having to face that Rottweiler with no weapons", Aaron commented harshly, concentrating on the road ahead.

"Don't worry honey, I will protect you" Jackson joked "Just don't mention her cooking skills, or lack of them".

"If she gets out of line, I'll just use your handbag to hit her over head with", Aaron teased.

"Aaron, how many more times, it's a gentlemen's clutch-bag, and I never use it, just like many of my mum's other gifts".

"Yeah sure, I believe you...hey, what's this?" Aaron asked bemused.

The streets absorbed with signs of life, denying the car access to their destination.

"Let me out here, I'll let Saskia know we're here and that we have come for some of Adams things, you find a car park space then follow, ok?" Jackson asked quietly.

"Ok".

Once the people eventually moved to allow Aaron through, he parked the car and headed towards the house.

There is something in the air tonight, a layer of dust, saturating the dark, forcing Aaron to uncover his route blinded, his lungs, breathing in the toxic fumes, little did he know, poison, was coursing through his veins.

"Hey mate", Aaron asked a passing person "What's going on here tonight?"

"A house fire in the next street, it's terrible, some woman and her baby are trapped upstairs, the fire fighters are still not there yet, and no one dare go in, if I were 20 years younger I would be straight in there, young people these days are..."

Aaron momentarily froze, his core as cold as ice, in contrast to the flames engulfing around the corner, he began to run, leaving the passing person behind him.

Why couldn't he stop, the feeling of dread soaring beneath his skin.

Reaching his destination, the worst confirmed, the red now seething through his blood shocked eyes.

But wait...

Aaron began to watch, his whole world, go up, into the flames, will this night be never ending? Will he be safe?

Putting his hands, into the fire.

For he was prepared to endure, the burning light...to save life.

Diving into the heart of the blaze.

The blood draining from his body, Aaron began to frantically move forward, screaming in desperation.

"JACKSON! DONT, PLEASE, PLEASE DONT GO, COME BACK...JACKSON!"

TBC


	13. This turbulence is Beautiful

Chapter 13 – This turbulence is Beautiful

The heat from the sun, a thousand embers burning, treacherously savaging the vision before his hollow eyes.

For his whole world, is captured, engulfed in the fire bomb, perishing within the waves of flames.

The beautiful disaster, continuing to unfold, painting a picture of destruction, gracefully setting a light, delicately dissolving the infrastructure, melting the hearts, the essences of the waiting lives outside, into stardust, evaporating into the atmosphere.

Aaron charged, faster than the speed of light, sound, towards the centre of the earth, but he was brutally blocked, denied entrance to the castle, unable to defend the honour of his kingdom.

"LET ME GO, LET ME GO", He screamed, his pleas, falling beneath the iron grasp upon his body, he was bound by uncountable hands, not able to crash into the midnight sun, splitting the night with its blinding rays.

Let him go, let him go, so he can run...

For he wants to become a burning star, evident in the day, the light, this excruciating night, sacrificing his life, to save the man who brought him glory, who established his fairy tale story, his husband...his Jay.

All he could do, is watch, waiting.

What could transpire, could break his heart...or save him.

Nothing is ever real, until you let go, completely.

For all he wants to do, is release all the thoughts, he has been saving, to the man who pulled him away from the claws of insanity, which conspired beneath this turning world, trying desperately to destroy him, to make him sick forever.

A silhouette, striking through the wild colours, walking calmly, away from the danger, the gentle scene of harrowing torture...

God, this turbulence is beautiful.

Jackson was cradling baby Bella in his arm, the focus of everyone's attention.

But Aaron could see, he could see.

For Jackson, was on fire, his body, perishing upon the impact of flames, agony immersing within the back of his mind.

Aaron raced across the open water, ready to cure the poison, offering his life, as his lover's antidote.

His hands absorbing the blaze furiously, working to calm and soothe his flaws, satisfying his desire to chase the bad things away, that Jackson was enduring.

...

In and out, breathing in the purified air, confined inside the four walls.

The worst is over now, for he can exhale again, in and out, the shallow, progressing to full restore.

For they have picked all the weeds...but kept the flowers, blooming so delicately, hidden away from the worlds watchful eye.

So, here he goes, with all the thoughts he has been saving, with all the fears, weighing so heavily, on his chest...

"Do you think the scars will look bad?" Jackson interjected before Aaron could speak, his brow creasing with anxiety.

"Jay, of course not, you've got a bit on the top part of your arm, I bet it's not even 3 inches big...don't worry, your still beautiful", Aaron said softly, reassuring the man before him.

"Any word on Saskia?"

"Yeah, the fire fighters got her out, she inhaled a lot of smoke, she's been described as serious, but stable, there's no getting rid of her, she's as hard as nails", Aaron commented jokingly, before opening himself, and his wounds wide.

"What you did, was the most reckless, stupid, insane thing you have ever done, and you call me crazy!

I thought I lost you, I honestly thought you weren't coming out, you were gonna burn to death.

But, what you did, probably made me love you, more than I ever thought possible.

You did an incredible thing...

I know, I know I'm still not that good with my feelings and I don't tell you often, how much I love you, but, I do. And I hope that you think it means more when I say it, because it's not every day when I do".

Aaron wiped his tears away, taking a moment to collect himself, he has yet to finish what he wants to say.

"To me Jay, your perfect, and I suppose, today just reiterates that.

And I was thinking, about the qualities our child would have, upon the influence they would receive from you guiding them through life.

They would have your heart, the kind loving nature that aura's around you, instantly likeable, lighting up the darkest of rooms.

They would have your armour, strong and capable of understanding their own mind, but letting their defences down, for the right person...loving like they are indestructible.

And they would have your lungs, breathing in life, immersing in the feeling of living, experiencing each day, as their last...

Around your head, all I see is a halo, I place you on a pedestal...where you belong.

And I'm so proud to be called you husband.

Never doubt my feelings for you, because every touch, every kiss, every glance in your direction, I'm telling you in my own special way, that I love you".

Jackson, his heart stopping at the perfection before his eyes, only to restart, beating louder, louder, faster as his stunned mind regains composure, enclosing his hands to mould around Aarons face.

"I know you do Aaron...I know you do, I'll always know.

You're my world, nothing matters but you".

The drug of each other, sending them into dizzying heights, all rationality, replaced by illusions in their heads, as their lips synchronised effortlessly together. The stars before their eyes, undeniably real.

For they will never be able to be sober, pulling away, will only break their hearts, destroying all traces of beauty, that shines for all of mankind to see.

"Can I have a cuddle?" Jackson asked, his teasing soul, lacing his velvet tone.

"Well I suppose you've earned one" Aaron replied, pulling him into an unbreakable embrace.

Jackson gently eased himself back into the mass of pillows underneath him, Aaron following.

"You know what the first thing we're doing after I get out of here tomorrow?" Jackson whispered.

"What?"

"Booking us a holiday" Jackson chuckled lightly.

"Seriously?" Aaron asked, hope restoring his faith, wanting desperately to take Jackson away, to a better place.

"Yeah, I think we deserve one, and there's only another month till Christmas so, I was thinking, a long break away, see in the new year in different country?"

"I don't think you even need to ask do you?" Aaron joked.

For they were ready, to create, more picture perfect memories, and scatter them across the floor, surrounding themselves within their confinement of love, their own designed world, specifically built, just for the two of them.

TBC


	14. Pocket full of Sunshine

Chapter 14 – Pocket full of Sunshine

April 2015

Time, forever in waiting.

Suffocating the mind, the body...the soul. Holding within its grasp, eternal sunshine, or undying despair.

Keeping you unsafe...

But that's ok.

It's alright, to open up your heart, in your own time. It's not the evil presence, striking to break the essence of your beauty.

It's produced to prepare, to plan, to shape your most extraordinary creations.

There will always be enough, time will always be on your side, when your moment of glory, dances through the brilliant lights, positioned so high up in the sky...

And now the time has come, the hour, the minute, the second...undeniably perfect...

...

The night sky, consumed by April showers, washing away the cold, for winter has come and gone.

The rain, falling against the tangible, serenity in it's path, cleansing the pollution, for it's the solution to the want, the need to feel reawakened, seeing the world through brand new eyes...to rinse away the sins of the past, a new day, a new life, awaiting to be lived.

Aaron lay awake, listening for the sound, pleading for the gods, to resist their malicious laughter.

But thanking them, for turning him around, allowing him to start his days again.

The noise began, distortion, writing it's self on the wall, clarity failing to prevail.

Aaron, the bullet from a gun, shot through the dark, heading towards the source.

The face before him, perfection personified.

Needing, needing to take his anguish away...but all that was offered to Aaron, to guide him to the key of his unexplainable requirement, is incoherent sound.

Grasping him, Aaron's hands, his sword, Aaron's arms, his armour.

For he will seek to destroy the soulless bodies who try to harm the life before him...

Master Livesy-Walsh.

Dark blue sapphire pearls, soft, delicate white diamond skin, with a hint of rose upon his cheeks, Blond locks, starting to appear evidently.

Tiny hands, wrapping around his father's finger, for the man holding him, is working his magic...soothing the crying in his son's heart to a slow, confident beat.

Aaron whispered words he cannot verbalise, but laced with such meaning, such desperation to lull him gently back to sleep.

Casey James...closed his sleepy eyes, accepted into the dream filled dark.

The little boy, now safe within the confinement of love.

He has been living with his proud parents for just over two weeks. In such a short space of time, Aaron and Jackson, have fallen, deeply and uncontrollably in love, with their pocket full of sunshine...who now belongs to them, and them alone.

Casey is now protected inside, Aaron and Jackson's hearts like towers, towering over him, offering him stars and glory.

For their son has the mixture of nature and fortune on his side, making him destined for greatness.

The dark, now receiving a gentle hush, little pieces, of the something, that are fated to fall. The quiet noises, which no one else, accept the four walls saturated in shadows, will get to hear.

"Casey...Casey James, real, and in the flesh, in my arms.

I have been waiting a long time for you, seems like forever. But I won't stop now, It's only just begun, for there will be no hesitancy, second guessing, no, not this time.

This time I will be here, I will never run again.

Every problem, every eventuality you will have, I will be here, removing all the bad, all the terrible things that will try to bring you down, I will clear the path for you, to live your life anyway you please.

You know, everyday, since we brought you home, all I have done is cry...just to know, you are all mine.

It seems I have two perfect people in my life, you and your dad.

With your daddy Jackson in your life, you will become superhuman.

He has changed my whole life, he doesn't know what he has done to me, with his love. He completes me as a person...

But you complete my life.

I know with his guidance, his wisdom, his love, you will become one of a kind.

Together, your dad's would offer you the world, if it's what you want.

You can be who you are with us, you can tell us anything, we will never judge you, we would make all the hurt go away...we would make it alright.

You got me, you got me from the first moment I looked into your eyes. There, there unbelievable, big open eyes, their like Jay's, just a different colour.

He adores you too, your dad has an overwhelming smile, but you make him smile wider than anyone. He's known for his passion for life, he always leaves, a glow of brightness, everywhere he goes, but the gleam behind his eyes since you came into his world, has strengthened his whole spirit, I have no doubt he could move mountains now, we both could.

And, me and your daddy, would never stand in your way, if you ever want to find...your real mum and dad.

If it's what you want, we would do everything we can to help.

She doesn't know what she's missing you know, your mum, four months old and you remained nameless.

Well, you have your own identity now mate, named after a boy I knew. He radiated courage, his fighting spirit for all the world to see, his heart strived to survive, suppose I will tell you more about him when you're older.

There will be no secrets, me and Jay will always be honest with you, we will tell you everything you want to know about us.

And, we hope the good times you will experience with us...will eclipse the bad. We know it will be inevitable that you will receive comments, because you have two dads, but we will do everything in our powers to make sure you don't suffer.

Because...you are the most important thing in our lives now, and always will be...

...

Aaron stayed, the life still possessed in his grasp, looking, just looking at his present...his future...

Outside the room, pride, awaited in the wings, flourishing into a stargazed flower, blooming so vibrantly, all the worlds away could see.

Emotion taking control, tears, effortlessly presenting on his features, for Jackson has heard the whispers in the shadows, absorbed the loved filled words, delicately spoken, uncovered the meaning laced within his tone.

The hidden jewels, his husband keeps within his core, now shinning, defining feelings into clarity.

Jackson crept quietly back into their bed, to rest his overwhelmed head.

For now, he will be forever, sleeping beneath the stars, all the wonders of the world in the next room, and the diamond, which fortunes eternal sparkles of gold, will be closing his ocean eyes, beside him.

TBC


	15. Intoxicating Delirium

Chapter 15 – Intoxicating Delirium

May 2015

He has been waiting, for the midday moon with wide eyes, gloriously striking light in every direction, through the village.

The heat, made bearable, as the fresh spring breeze influences the warmth to a comfortable degree.

For this is the part, that nobody mentions, all the intentions are merged into one blinding colour. The evil now dying, the superior defying, challenging the high water to break him, for nothing, nothing, can destroy the illusion of the sunlight...not now.

Sometimes life is intoxicating, for all the greatness, can make you delirious, elevating your senses into the euphoria.

For his pocket full of sunshine, has sprinkled his stardust, the magic potion falling into the waiting heart, stirring the fire which has been created by Casey James...

But Jackson, will burn willingly...just for him.

The stars, twinkling from his illustrious eyes, dropping into Jackson's hand, allowing him to make a map, for he will always find his way back now, into the path of his little boy.

For this is how, he is going down, saying what he means to say, taking back all the wrong, he has ever said.

His kingdom will come first... his family unit. He would sacrifice anything, or anyone for them, enduring a knife, will only make him feel alive, for he will be bearing the suffering for gold.

His love, bleeding all around, morphing into protection, for the lives he lives for...are the lives he would die for...

For he is addicted, to the colours, the beautiful colours, smiling into his soul...

"Jackson come on, sometime today would be nice!" Aaron shouted from the foot of the stairs, impatiently waiting for his husband.

"Ok I'm coming, is our pocket full of sunshine all strapped in and ready to go?"

"Yeah he is", Aaron replied smiling, he couldn't help but grin at the little nickname Jackson had given their son, it warmed the tracing of his heart.

"Right then, we ready for the off?" Jackson asked, reaching the bottom of the stairs.

"Me and Casey have been ready for 15 minutes" Aaron sarcastically stated.

"Well I'm worth it aren't I?"

Before Aaron attempted to answer the intended rhetorical question, Jackson decided to show him, by caressing his lover's gentle features, and kissing his lips softly, before fleeting to join his son in the car, leaving Aaron delicately bewildered, rooted to his position.

...

"Aaron, no one is looking at us, and when I say us, I mean you. Just relax." Jackson calmly said, trying to sooth his anxious eyes.

"What?...I'm just looking around, there's nothing wrong with that", Aaron replied innocently.

"Hmmmm", was all Jackson could mutter, far from convinced at Aaron's declaration of naivety.

The illustrious green, highlighted by the radiant light reflected from the sky, enticing the occupants of the field to sit and relax, in the open air, on this breathtaking afternoon.

The flowers, the colours, surrounding the families, enriching the serenity of the moment, healing their flaws, just for one day.

Fading their carefulness away.

Their son, cradled in the arms of Jackson, holding him, the love they felt for him, orbited around his life, for Casey is placed on a pedestal above their spirits, the halo firmly in place around his head... he is tomorrow, in the world of today.

"What factor sun cream did you use on him?" Aaron asked curiously.

"The highest factor...don't worry, I'm not about to let our little boy burn".

"He's growing fast isn't he?"

"Yeah, baby's do don't they, one minute they are unable to say a word, then the next they are walking around as if they own the place", Jackson laughed, before adding

"We have just got to enjoy every precious moment we have, they don't stay young forever, look at us."

"excuse me, I'm only 23, just cause you are pushing your late 20's" Aaron joked, his eyes consuming light hearted teasing.

"Do you think we will approve of anyone of his many dates when he grows up?" Jackson asked softly, losing himself in the yawn that devoured his son.

"I dunno...but at least he won't have to worry about us stealing any of his girlfriends", Aaron chuckled.

"I suppose, but what if he's gay?" Jackson retorted.

"Oh yeah, didn't think of that."

"Suppose I would have to keep you away from his boyfriends Aaron, our boy might end up with a guy who likes middle aged men dressed in trackies who tucks his socks into his trainers", Jackson laughed.

"Well, I can't speak for them, but I'm a one man man me Jay", Aaron said, joining in the giggling, before taking Jackson by surprise...leaning in and claiming his lips, in a soft gentle kiss.

He pulled away, to look at the face before him, the man holding their son, Aaron could see, that the little showcase of affection, meant the world to him.

Aaron vowed to himself to do it more often, for he wants Casey to see and understand, the meaning of true love, immersing in your emotions and showing your warmth to the ones you love...

It's all a part of what makes us human.

Some people stared at the kiss, and some continued to stare...but Aaron was ok, because he had everything he could possibly want and need, right here in front of him.

If holding them means, he has to bleed, then he is a martyr... and love is to blame.

...

"Aaron, we've run out of baby formula, I would go as you well know but...I love this programme, could you?" Jackson beamed, knowing his smile would influence Aaron's decision.

"Yeah ok".

"But the shop doesn't stock the one we use, could you run into town?" Jackson asked carefully.

..."Bloody hell!"

...

'_Where on earth is it?' _Aaron thought, searching everywhere for the required essential.

The store was lifeless, due to the lateness of the time, an eerie essence corrupted the confinement within the open space, representing the ghost of lost memories, the presence of darker days, where the sun had gone away, leaving only the shade to shine it's broken worth.

The only customers within this place was Aaron and...

"Aaron?"

He froze within his position, recognising the voice immediately, his gaze slowly explored to uncover the phantom of the past, searching the spirit that haunted him, for so long, before he finally whispered his name...

"Dad".

TBC


	16. Angels, with their Halos

Chapter 16 – Angels, with their Halos

If all of the flowers, faded away, and all of the storm clouds, decided to stay, If all of the world, never belonged, and if leaving was never right, then he would rather be wrong.

But, his dad was the sunlight, but now... the sun has gone.

For Aaron, roamed to a place, following the smoke, walking into the light, which takes all, the shattered ones, to the silence of the sound, to the beginning of the end.

He let go, running, through all the things he once knew, immersing in the distortion, blurring the reason, clouding his eyes.

But, from the depths of the crystal gold, a place where angels, with their halos, breathe life, into the lifeless words, where just words, become the meaning of living, helping him to understand, the desires in his heart, are pure... beautiful, unashameable.

Jackson...his Jay, eliciting and drawing out all he is worth, convincing Aaron...to listen to the feelings coming to life within his soul...to fall into it's sunlight.

...

Aaron and his dad, walked, they travelled within the darkness, wandering to nowhere special, wondering, just what to say.

For their years have moved on, motioning in different directions, progressing at separate speeds, but lacking something...something in particular.

Aaron came to an abrupt stop, Gordon following suit, he could no longer take any more, he had to elicit reassuring, comforting noise, into the atmosphere.

"How is, how is everyone?" Aaron whispered.

"Good, everyone's good...me and Sandra are divorced now, but we share custody of your brother, it's better this way, and your brothers happy, loving school", Gordon said cheerfully, before continuing, gaining are more serious tone.

"How are you Aaron, how have you been?"

"I'm good, I'm really really good, I've finally got everything I have ever wanted", Aaron softly said, willing away the old year's hurt from his eyes.

"I er, I heard, about the court case, about you being...gay. I know everything now.

I'm glad I chucked you out because..."

"What did you just say?" Aaron fumed, his stance, fighting to mask his aching heart.

"No Aaron let me finish, If I would have found out back then, I, I don't know what I would have done..."

"Yes you do", Aaron whispered, tears, falling like a leaf, into the dark.

"I know, I know I do, but I'm different now, I really am".

"You know, it took a while, it took a long time, before I could hold my head up high, before I could look at myself in the mirror.

Why didn't you come back, you heard about it and your _different _now, why didn't you come back?"

Gordon looked towards the pavement, his broken spirit, colliding with the dust on the ground.

"Because, because, I am so ashamed of myself, I pushed my eldest son away, who needed someone to talk to, to understand, that who he was, who he is, is truly incredible. Because he is my son, my beautiful son, who needed his dad, when he thought the world wouldn't understand.

I heard what you tried to do to yourself, and, and I deserved to feel how I felt, how I still feel.

You were the healing Aaron, and I was the pain, I took away who you were from you, I made you ashamed of who you are, I'm just so glad you have accepted who you are now...because you are not wrong.

I look at you and, I still see my little boy, who never faded into the shadows, always smiling, who never stopped laughing.

But, I became blinded, because now I see, I see when you stopped smiling, when you stopped healing, when you shut the world away.

My little ray of sun, and you went away, because I let you, I let you kill yourself from the inside".

Gordon turned away, wiping the furious tears that seeped through, pouring from his soul, wanting to hurt him, to feel the wrath of the clouds above, endlessly the water fuelled, but was unable to cool the burning fire that exacerbated his everlasting guilt.

For he will never tell Aaron, the shameful acts he has conspired, the transpired events that he keeps locked away, beneath the iron sea...just begging to be released.

The silence began to claw beneath their skin, to suffocate their heavy breathing, stealing the words away from them both, until...

"I see you're married." Gordon stated softly, nodding towards Aaron's wedding ring.

"Yeah, nearly two years now, he's incredible...he's really, really incredible.

We have a 5 month old son, Casey James.

My life is complete now.

I'm a member of a little family unit, that works. Just the 3 of us, words can't describe how amazing it feels, belonging to two of the most perfect people on the planet.

I really couldn't ask for more", He beamed proudly, diamonds brimming sapphire pupils.

"I'm really happy for you mate.

I'm so sorry Aaron, I'm so sorry", Gordon released his dark demons into the open, evolving the evil spirits into black water, corrupting his features.

"You know, you're lucky, you're really lucky".

"What" Gordon whispered bewilderedly.

"You're lucky because, I am married to Jackson Walsh, the man who is the most popular guy I know, who is so relaxed, easy going, selfless, loving.

And most of all...forgiving.

He gave me chance, after chance after chance. But he still believed in me, in us, making me understand, that I am worth loving.

And that, people can make mistakes, big ones, but still be eligible to deserve another risk.

And you are risk dad, you really are, and there will be no going back if you screw up again".

"I won't son, I promise", Gordon declared strongly, vowing to be the dad Aaron deserves... he always deserved.

...

Aaron was driving home, lost in translation, ready and willing to explain the encounter with his father to Jackson.

The moon light, guiding him home, the scenery surrounding, is just a million miles of blurring perfection.

The empty rejection he always felt when thinking of his father, has gone.

All this time, spent in vein, wasted years, loved filled hate.

But all is not lost...hope remains, the war is now over.

It has taken, this life of regret, for his heart to learn to forget.

For his dad is the sunlight...now the sun has come back.

TBC


	17. Elevating his heart to new Beats

Chapter 17 - Elevating his heart to new Beats

June 2015

Falling beneath the shallow waves, losing yourself within what god made, screaming inside...for you have been saved.

The chosen one, to discover what it feels like, in the air at this twilight, the emeralds, immerging behind the disappearing sun.

To absorb the ever changing wind, blowing new ways in your path, in your grasp, reaching breathtaking peaks, driving to surround you, in an unbreakable embrace...

To witness a love, a love so strong, it conquers the world...it conquers it all.

The life in front of him, elevating his heart to new beats, faster, louder, stronger.

For he knows, it's now possible to take the moon, to touch it in his hands, to breath in it's silver light, shinning the darkness, intertwining, around his soul.

His grandson, has done this to him.

Paddy, pulled the covers tightly over him, wanting him to feel warmth, protected within the confinement of dreams.

Before gently kissing his cheek, symbolising the love within his heart, especially stored, just for him.

"Night night Casey, you're a very special little boy...and I can't wait for you to find out just how much you are worth to your dad's, to all of us", he whispered, closing the door softly behind him.

...

"Ok, well, we have asked you over for a specific reason, the reason we asked you over, was because, well, we..."

"For god sake Jackson just tell them, they already know why we asked them round, it's obvious!" Aaron stated, frustration lacing his tone.

"We don't", Adam and Paddy declared in unison, although Adam was lying, he did know, but Paddy seemed to be slow on the up take.

"We want you to be god parents to Casey James at his christening next month", Aaron blurted out.

"Aw mate...nice one" Adam chimed.

"Really? Well it would be an honour, I couldn't think of anything I would like more", Paddy said, tears watering his heartfelt pitch.

"Jay get the door will ya", Aaron said upon hearing knocking, telling Jackson, rather than asking him.

"Oh yes sir, anything else you want sir, put a brush up my backside, I'll sweep the floor as I go", Jackson exasperated, getting to his feet.

"God, your wife's a nag Aaron", Adam joked, even Jackson himself found that remark quite amusing.

Jackson opened the front door, pleasantly surprised to see the face before him.

"Saskia".

"Hey Jackson, I erm..."

"Where's Bella?" Adam asked, upon hearing her name he was by Jackson's side in no time.

"Oh I left her at the petrol station, a couple of hairy bikers are watching her...relax Adam, she's at your mums" Saskia stated, sarcastic as ever.

"Oh".

"can you leave me and Jackson to talk please?"

Adam retreated back into the living room, giving them some privacy.

"Do you want to come in?" Jackson asked politely.

"No, I, just came to say congratulations, on the new addition to your family, Casey is it?

I thought that was a girl's name?"

"No it's a unisex name", Jackson stated, as calmly as possible...Saskia just couldn't help herself, even when she was trying to be nice.

"Oh...sorry".

"It's ok, he's asleep, but you're welcome to pop your head around the door, take a look at him"

"No, you're alright, I just came to say congrats, and to thank you really.

I know it's been 6 months since the fire, and I should have come earlier,But I couldn't not tell you in person...you saved mine and Bella's life, if you hadn't have been there, I don't think we would have made it.

I will owe you for the rest of my life", Saskia said, with as much sincerity as she withheld.

"Erm, well it was nothing", Jackson smiled, embarrassed at the rare complement Saskia had spoken.

"You risked your life for me and my baby, it wasn't nothing, it was the most bravest, courageous thing I have ever known, and I have given you no reason to save me.

You're a sweet man Jackson, I hope everything in life turns out how you want it to, take care".

"You to Saskia", Jackson whispered, unable to absorb the powerful, beautiful words that she said.

And she meant them, with every fibre of her body...she truly meant them.

Jackson closed the door, but was unable to close the thoughts inside his head. Her kindness, has promoted his spirit to greater depths beyond the endless sky, with such velocity, defying the gravity, which had no option, but to release their barriers, and let him soar above the world.

For wherever you are, you will be able...to see him fly...

"Has the tart gone then?" Paddy spat out from thin air.

"Erm Paddy, she is still my wife", Adam noted, unable to hide his shock at the venom in his tone.

"Oh yeah...sorry" Paddy said, eliciting a little compassion to his voice.

...

"Earth to Jackson, anybody there?" Aaron said impatiently.

He has been staring into space since yesterday, from the moment he shut the door behind Saskia.

"Sorry mate...right, you have my full attention".

"I was asking which brand of lager do you want, this or this?" Aaron asked, holding the options for him to see.

"Erm..."

"Jackson?" The mystery person, softly whispered.

Jackson turned around slowly, for he knew the voice, who was calling his name, calling him home.

"Grace?"

"Jackson how have you been?" Grace beamed, delighted at seeing Jackson after all these years.

"I'm good, I'm really good...this is Aaron, my husband"

"Lovely to meet you Aaron".

"Erm...likewise", Aaron said, his usual self not disappearing.

"We have a 6 month old son Casey, not conceived naturally of course", Jackson laughed, a nervous laugh, which failed to reach his eyes.

Aaron decided to make himself scarce around the shopping aisles, wanting to give Jackson and Grace some time alone, but he was curious to discover who the mature woman was.

"Aww, I'm so happy for you Jackson, you deserve to be happy", Grace spoke, tears fighting to fall.

"How are you doing?" Jackson asked, his whole demeanour changing from neutral to hollow, in an instant, because of the face in front of him.

"Oh I'm ok...time heals, but it will never go away.

I'm surviving though", she said, urging the sobs to stay concealed.

"I best be off, It really was lovely seeing you Jackson, after all this time. I always wondered what happened to you.

I'm really glad your life is what you want".

Grace pulled Jackson into an emotional embrace, filled with heartfelt love, compassion and happiness for the future.

Jackson held her, unable to let go, searching in her arms for comfort.

For the crises of pain from the past...has now come back.

"Take care", Grace said pulling away from him, not waiting to hear Jackson's response.

For she has given Jackson, her life, and all the dreams that made her young, another day, another sunrise...all passed to him through the touching of hearts they had just shared.

Jackson fleeted slowly from the store, into the open air...the darkness he became.

Jackson held his breath, before releasing the stars from his eyes, into the night.

Unknown to him, he was now carrying, Graces beating heart.

Watch your step, for Jackson's love is broken, shattered into glass, saturating the cold ground.

For he is now...every tear you cry.

TBC


	18. Beauty and the Tragedy

Chapter 18 – Beauty and the Tragedy

The sirens, he can hear the sirens coming, smothering his breath to interference.

The distortion distressing, corrupting the purity in his head, fooling the illusions that danced so gracefully across his hazel eyes.

So let's face it, this was never, what he wanted, but, it was fun to pretend, that the past was never going to last, to imagine time crucifying the hopeless memories...to beat the beating heart to nothing.

But now, his soul filled with hope beyond the stars, has faded, gone away.

For time has not healed the wounds, now opening wide, tearing him away.

The beauty and the tragedy, colliding together...

Were they ever meant to be apart?

But he has learned, that he has earned, all the love he has been given.

The storm now raging, will die with aging, will bury forever, beneath the reality of his existence.

But he needs to perish first, his spirit to disintegrate into a million pieces, before being swept up into the air, accepting reincarnation, into another life form...superhuman.

And he knows exactly what he needs to do...to set his inhibitions free...

The car door opened abruptly.

"Jackson, what the hell, I've been looking everywhere for..."

Aaron silenced his voice, upon noticing the falling waterfalls, from the depths of his dark whirlpools.

"Jay...what's happened?" Aaron whispered anxiously.

"Just...seeing grace after all this time, she looked, broken, ever after all this time".

"Jay, I don't understand, who is she, how do you know her?" Aaron urged him softly.

"She was my best mates mum, when I was in high school".

Aaron gulped slowly, Jackson's words reiterating inside his mind.

"Was?" he asked tentatively.

"He's dead, he died a very long time ago, he was murdered". Jackson murmured gently, losing himself in bitter recollections.

"Why didn't you tell me".

"To be honest, I'm not sure I have even thought about him once since I met you...how bad is that?" He said regretfully.

"You had to move on with your life, you can't feel guilty for that".

"I just feel responsible, I was there...the night he was killed", Jackson sobbed harder, to feel the pain he thought he deserved.

Aaron looked dazed, so many questions crowding his mind, threatening the corrupt and crawl from his every orifice.

Until Jackson began to speak, to whisper...to confess the darker side of the world he was once found himself upon...

...

...

"_I'm thinking...crop top and knee high leather boots", Billy squealed excitedly._

"_No, I said what should I wear, not what you will", Jackson stated firmly._

"_Oh common Jacky, you would look sooooo hot, Cameron won't know what hit him, plus you rocking up with a diva edge will entice him...as he is straight", Billy said thoughtfully._

"_Exactly, he is straight, he doesn't fancy me", Jackson sighed disappointedly._

"_Jackson Jackson Jackson, you do know what the difference between a gay man and a straight man is?..._

_Six pints of beer, he will be lusting after you when he's had a few bevies"._

"_You talk some rubbish sometimes you do", Jackson laughed._

"_You know, if you were like, 10 years older, and were ripped to perfection...we would be one hot couple, but you know me Jacky...I love me a sugar daddy"._

"_Billy your 16, he's too old for you for starters, he's married...and he's our geography teacher"._

"_God Jackson why do you always have to put a dampener on things, you're old beyond your years love._

_The other day in his class when I dropped my pen and asked him to pick it up for me, he happily obliged, and he practically shoved his bum in my face in doing so._

_I'm telling you Jackson, the man finds me irresistible, I can't help it if I have the charms of a hunk"._

"_And the morals of a slapper", Jackson pitched in._

"_Oh sweetie, what have I told you about Jealousy?_

_Come here love, you've got to at least try and flirt with Cameron"._

_Billy placed his arms around his best friend._

"_Not a chance, he's not gay...end of, you can't make someone gay", Jackson spoke firmly._

"_Well...remember Mr Thomas, four doors down from you?"_

_Jackson nodded slightly, unable to comprehend the words he is about to hear._

"_Well, one evening, he invited me in for tea and biscuits, the next thing you know, I'm bouncing around on his four poster bed, while he's screaming 'ride me faster', his wife was asleep in the next room"._

"_Mr Thomas is 68"._

"_Ano, but he was a tryer bless him, and there was no stopping him once his blue pills kicked in..."_

_Jackson and Billy burst into uncontrollable laughter, Jackson had come to get his friends sense of humour, finding him a charismatic diamond, a whirlwind of beautiful nature, a true genius creation from god, he really is one of a kind. _

"_Is that your girlfriend?" A man snarled upon passing the two boys, his question directed towards Jackson._

"_Ignore him" Jackson whispered to an irate Billy._

"_Erm, excuse me pig face, We're trying to have a conversation, so I suggest you and your ignorant manner skip home merrily, or to put it in terms you would understand... 'do one', Billy spoke confidently._

"_What did you just say?" The man, now stopping in his tracks._

"_Oh god, deaf as well as ugly, just go home ok? We have very busy lives to lead", Billy muttered, frustration lacing his tone._

"_Maybe we should go", Jackson said quickly, upon noticing the violent gleam in the man's eyes, pulling Billy swiftly with him. _

_Jackson and Billy walked a 100 yards or so, before turning around, just in time, to see the man, now setting to run, seeking to suffocate the air around their lungs. _

_To surround their lives and constrict their essences, before contaminating the core of their souls, stripping the worth they have earned, away._

"_Billy, hurry up!" Jackson screamed in desperation, striving to survive this weak, and vulnerable hour. Staring vacantly ahead, focusing on freeing his life from the claws of terror that will brutally tarnish the flow of purity that streams through his veins._

_His mind, fled into the speed of light, floating beyond eternity, he could have been running for hours, days even, for all he knew of the world he was lost in now. _

_The shock of the lightening, that jolted through his heart, brought him back into his reality._

_Where was Billy?_

_..._

_..._

"I ran straight back, through the black, I couldn't see anything now, but I could feel him, somehow, I could hear calling, echoing through the air, but I wasn't sure if I was dreaming.

On instinct, I crossed the empty spaces, where a housing estate was situated, before it all burned to the ground in the 90's.

And I...and I found him". Jackson breathed in the air deeply, just to know he was still alive, before the tears, like knives, pierced the tracing of his soul, leaving it open in the water, to sharks and danger.

"I witnessed, as he breathed in, breathed out...for one last time.

He was so beautiful, full of love and wonder, even brighter than the moon".

Aaron wiped the flaws that gently crashed onto skin, absorbing all the hurt that Jackson has been saving.

"You can't feel guilty Jay, you're not to blame for what happened.

You can never enjoy your life, living inside the past, holding onto pain...just makes you sad, and it kills you". Aaron whispered gently, holding the life of his lover, in his hands, his arms, containing the essence of Jackson, and confining him to protection.

"How long did the bloke get?" Aaron asked quietly.

"Nothing, they have never caught him...the estate I lived on had no CCTV, he disappeared into thin air", Jackson regretfully spoke, sighing into Aaron's shoulder.

Aaron kept his reactions neutral, suppressing the urge to exacerbate the situation, Instead, opting to become the strength of Jackson, while he heals to full restore.

"Let's get you home ay?" Aaron said tentatively.

And they sailed into the dark, although Jackson felt he was losing... he was not lost.

For his pocket full of sunshine, waiting upon his return, will put everything into perspective, eliciting his love to no boundaries.

Although Billy is out of sight...he lurks within the air, and the wonders he gave, remain in Jackson's heart.

TBC


	19. Extraterrestrial – futuristic history

Chapter 19 – Extraterrestrial – futuristic history

July 2015

The day, flowing into night...

It doesn't matter what they think, it doesn't matter what they say...he knows that now.

What the hell?

He never knew, that he could feel this way.

For he had never known, that he could be this way.

The lights, highlighting the transition into moments, little wonders, that will remain forever.

The strobe lighting, affecting the lives underneath them.

Turning them to stone, locking this precious memory into safety, killing them safely, making them apart of history, that promises to showcase every true star that shines, giving light, to the one's they love.

The illuminations, specifically purposed for the aliens, the futuristic extraterrestrials, roaming the room, celebrating the event that has transpired.

Aaron, never knew...that life could be this way...perfect...

"I Don't know why you got Casey James christened, it's a waste of time if you ask me" Saskia stated boldly, much to the disgust of the other guests at the table.

"Just because me and Aaron are living in sin, doesn't mean god shouldn't accept Casey's spirit in the sky". Jackson joked heartedly, he really didn't want to rise to the obvious tension Saskia wanted to create, he only invited her out of politeness, he never in a million years thought she would come.

"Every member of the Dingle family has been christened, it's tradition" Lisa declared adamantly.

"But Casey isn't a Dingle, because Aaron is a Livesy" Saskia said, enjoying stirring the poison that poured from her evil.

"Well, not by name, but he will always be a Dingle to us", Cain said, glaring directly towards her, daring her to utter one more word.

Aaron was outside smoking, saturated by the typical English summer weather.

But, it's a good thing tears never show, in the pouring rain.

The world can disguise all the whirl of emotions.

For he is overwhelmed by the love, that keeps knocking him down, and bringing his senses to unbelievable pleasure, keeping him unsafe...But he's learning to yearn for it, to breath in the warmth of anticipation and unpredictability that life throws in his path.

As he re-entered the lavish venue, his son, the little miracle that made him young, was in the arms of his grandmother.

"I was hoping to find you on your own", Chas said softly.

"Why, what you after?" Aaron asked in a teasing tone.

"Just wanted to talk, is that alright?"

"Yeah common", beckoning her over to a nearby wall.

They both rested their frames against the cold concrete, Aaron was too busy consuming himself in his son's eyes to realise that not one word was uttered for minutes between them. Chas was looking, just gazing at her son, wondering when her little boy became of age...

and who showed him how to be a man, considering he shut the world away, for such a long time.

But she supposed she knew the answer.

Jackson.

He rescued Aaron, when he was drowning in his sleep, lost in the silent cry that hurt his mind to unbearable.

Jackson, saved his heart, to a consistent, confident beat.

Making everything, making all the craziness, go away. Through his subconscious light, that he projects unknowingly. Allowing the world to fall into his sun, and bask in all his glory that forever shines from his soul.

"I thought you wanted to talk?" Aaron asked, now looking at his mother.

"I do...I want to know what it feels like?"

"What?" Aaron asked, confused as to what she wanted to know.

"I want to know what it feels like...to have everything you have ever wanted?" Chas beamed proudly.

Aaron couldn't help but laugh, for his mother was right.

He was glad he was never careful for what he wished for, because he has now got it all, and then some that he never dreamed of, but only adding to the glorious wonders that are now the foundations of his life.

"It feels...incredible mum, absolutely incredible" he whispered, tears threatening to fall.

But they are empty threats, for they will allow him to remain in control.

"I just wish things were different when you were little, and I took you with me when I left your dad..." Chas said solemnly, before Aaron interrupted.

"It's in the past mum yeah? Your here now, that's what matters.

Wish that dad could have been here today, but, suppose he couldn't have cancelled his holiday just for me could he."

"But it's not just for you is it, it's for his grandson, who he's hasn't even bothered to meet yet" Chas venomously spat.

"Mum, behave" Aaron teased, not wanting an argument today.

"Anyway, can I have him back now please?" Aaron smiled, gesturing to the life in her arms.

Chas willingly cradled her grandson, one last time, before passing him back to his dad.

Mother and son, stood, just looking, smiling at the other, losing themselves in the moment.

Until, Aaron fell into the euphoria, and the colours within his system, erupted through his every pore.

"I love you mum...and I know I have said some horrible stuff over the years to ya, but I have never stopped loving you...you do know that don't ya?" Aaron asked hesitantly.

Chas was stunned, momentarily star struck, Aaron's declaration so rare, now so valuable, worth more than gold.

But she will treasure the precious words she has just heard, and make them last forever. Replaying the loved filled expression of emotion in her head.

"I do sweetheart.

I love you too, more than I ever could show you" Chas tearfully whispered.

"Common" Aaron said taking his mum by the hand "Let's get back in there".

...

"Cain, let me have a hold, you've held Casey for ages now" Debbie whined, a child like essence corrupting her tone.

"Aww, I think Cain is becoming an even bigger softy in his old age" Hazel chimed teasingly.

"In contrast to you, who is just becoming bigger" Cain gleamed wickedly, amusing himself.

"Dad" Debbie warned him.

"It's ok love, your dad is just trying to mask his ever growing attraction for me, I've always known he is quite fond of me" Hazel retorted confidently.

"In your dreams" Cain laughed.

In truth, he was quite fond of Hazel, over the years Cain has admired her witty comebacks and bubbly nature, and she has taken his criticism's how he wants them to be taken...in jest.

Their relationship is purely platonic, of course.

Aaron and Jackson were outside, waiting for their taxi to arrive.

Allowing the serenity of the silence to linger, for it was never uncomfortable between them.

Just standing side by side, was always enough. Arm touching arm, forming an armour of indestructibility, an undetected layer of strength, that protects them from the outside environment.

Jackson turned to face Aaron, resting his forehead against his.

Closing their eyes, letting the other in, breathing in the essence of fulfilment.

For the aliens, are from another dimension. All their intentions are true, all that they want is each other.

Drowning beyond the night sky, suffocating in the intoxicating milky way.

Left alone...surviving from the life, of the other.

For they are the stars, hidden away, within the sunlit dark.

TBC


	20. Blurring beyond the broken Colours

Chapter 20 – Blurring beyond the broken Colours

August 2015

A hate, crashing over the senseless waves, for he was finding it hard to breathe.

Drowning in his own delirium, his sanity, interfered with by the enemy.

Tick tock, tick tock, he can visualise a better place. He can pretend to hear the white noise, seeping into his system, the shadows, stealing his spirit into the light.

He feels, the thin and shallow water, evolving into more.

A deeper force, saturating his skin, crawling beneath his tolerance. His head was giving in, ready to let go of his resolve, why did this have to happen...why couldn't _HE _hold it in!

"I bet you love your grandmother, the gays always love their grandmothers. I bet you and your Gran, sit together and sing songs, waiting for the cake mixture to set...

I'm not being offensive you know?" Pearl said defensively.

Jackson just shook his head...somebody help him, he can't keep doing this!

He looked up, just in time to read the wickedly smug expression on his husband's face coming back from the toilets "Oh thank god" Jackson thought...

Wait, did he just say that out loud?

"Thank god for what?" Pearl asked bemused.

"Erm...erm" Jackson hesitated.

Aaron sat back down beside him, raising his eyebrows in sheer amusement, enjoying watching the unprepared lie Jackson was contorting in his head.

"Erm, just thank god...because it's Sunday, and I think it's always good to thank god on Sunday's" He stated unconvincingly, much to the hilarity of Aaron, who was trying to disguise his laughter with coughing.

"Oh, you're such a sweet boy" Pearl chimed heartedly, before adding

"You should thank god properly, why don't you come to church with me and Betty every Sunday?"

"Erm well" Jackson started, before he was interrupted by Aaron.

"You know what Pearl, I think Jackson would love that, what a lovely idea.

I can't make it of course, due to me working on Sundays...erm, occasionally, so I won't be able to make the commitment god deserves...but Jackson can". Aaron grinned wickedly.

The cost of cruelly denying his husband a lie in on Sundays...many, many, many alcoholic beverages.

But the cost of seeing Jackson's outraged and undeniably shocked expression before him now...priceless.

"Oh that is good news, Oh we will have so much fun, I'm just going to powder my nose" Pearl squealed excitedly.

As soon as she was out of ear shot...

"That is the most cruel, crafty, unbelievably horrible thing you have ever done" Jackson pouted, although secretly impressed at the tactical ability of his lover.

Aaron couldn't help but laugh, before his hand delicately moulded around Jackson's features, his thumb gently brushing his kissable lips, conveying all the sincerity he owns.

"I'm sorry, but have you forgotten one thing... she's old.

As soon as she gets home she would have forgotten all about your arrangement, don't worry, trust me.

"You better hope so...or no more Sunday morning action for you" Jackson winked playfully.

Aaron suddenly frowned...he had forgotten about that, it seems his winding his husband up, may have backfired.

...

The evening evaporated into the air, replaced by night.

Aaron and Jackson were still in the Woolpack, the flow of conversation adding to the electric atmosphere, fuelling the contagious chemistry.

Aaron and Jackson discussed the latest developments of Casey's growth, swearing blind that they saw him smile when they were playing with him the other day, and feeling his first steps are just weeks away.

Paddy and Miranda disclosed the details of their first holiday they had just spent together, Minorca was apparently too warm for Paddy, resulting in him burning to a crisp, and the night life was nonexistent due to the aging population who live and visit there.

Adam told everyone of his new relationship since splitting with Saskia, it was still early days but, he was really, really falling for her.

...And Pearl openly discussed her recent itchy rash which corrupted her _lady garden. _Telling everyone at the table in horrific detail of how the rash affected her day to day life and how many times she must rub the steroid cream to the affected area.

Much to the sheer horror and physically sick lives who had to endure and listen for 20 minutes in frank detail.

Painting the most disturbing imagery they had ever envisioned.

"Aww, I think it's wonderful Casey having two dad's, he is so blessed.

The way you talk about him warms my heart" Pearl said happily.

"Yeah, if only you gave each other complements in public" Adam winked wickedly.

"Excuse me, me and Aaron are very affectionate in front of people thank you" Jackson defended teasingly.

"Here, here, the other night, when I was walking down the village, I saw Aaron and Jackson becoming affectionate for all the world to see... they forgot to close their bedroom curtains and..."

"Ok Pearl, I think Adam is just teasing" Jackson interjected quickly, he made a mental note to keep their bedroom curtains closed...indefinitely.

"And anyway, some people don't like to give each other big heads in public" Pearl added.

Completely oblivious to the innuendo she had just delivered.

Much to the amusement of Adam, he never realised how unintentionally funny she was.

The rest of the table quickly disbanded, sensing a tipsy Pearl was becoming out of control and on the verge of really humiliating herself further, and them in the process!

...

Jackson awoke to an empty bed, Aaron already leaving for work before he had a chance to open his eyes.

Their child minder had just taken to her travels...again, for the second time in as many months. Hazel just loved the big wide world, and the freedom it offers her, her absence of not belonging to a fella, appeased by the comfort she gains from the exciting new air she breathes deeply, into her lungs.

Jackson had just put his pocket full of sunshine down, for his afternoon nap, before hearing knocking on the front door.

"Hey, oh, hi, you must be Jackson, I'm Gordon, Aaron's dad".

"Oh hi, nice to meet you at last.

You looking for Aaron, only he's away for the day" Jackson said good naturedly.

"Oh is he, I just thought I would drop in on the off chance, oh well, no bother".

"You can come in if you want, I was just about to put the kettle on?" Jackson asked politely.

A brief silence, contaminated the air.

"No, maybe another time...it was just a flying visit" Gordon whispered, his eyes, shifting away, from Jackson's face.

Just then, something...changed.

Something, just, didn't feel right.

For there was something, in the water, lurking, roaming.

Jackson, just stared, lost like tears in the rain. Dying for clarity, to bring him to his senses...

What on earth was happening?

They stayed still, not moving. Both immersing, in the strange, twisted and deranged emotion.

Before Gordon, simply turned away, without another word, disappearing into the open.

Jackson closed the door.

What just happened?

His head, driving into the speed of light, blurring beyond the broken colours of darkness...until...clarity reached him.

_A man snarled upon passing the two boys..._

"_Ignore him" Jackson whispered..._

"_Is that your girlfriend?"..._

"_Maybe we should go"..._

"_What did you just say?"..._

..._ Where was Billy?_

Jackson, the pain in the back of his legs, making him fall to his knees, making him bleed, from the inside.

His breath corrupted, his soul abducted, back in time, to the crime.

For he knows the truth, he knows who he is now.

The back door...closing gently, footsteps, slowly coming to life, moving closer to his spirit.

The man before Jackson, is the cancer, running through his veins.

He is the sweat, that is dripping down the side of his face.

"You remember too?" Gordon whispered, just detectably, eyeing the man, kneeling on the floor...

TBC


	21. Ghosts with Voices

Chapter 21 - Ghosts with Voices

Everybody's got their problems, everyone will say the same thing to you...

It's just a matter of how you solve them, and knowing how to change, all the bad, you have been through.

But, he feels he has come to realise, how hard, life can be to find...

For he has taken a step back, to see what's going on, and he can't believe.

This is happening to him...

There's no point, in trying to fight this, for he knows the truth now, but he is trying to figure out, out of the two, who is everybody's fool?

For he will hate to survive this encounter, as no one will win, no one can win, this headline, that will make front page news.

This will make heads turn, the baying crowd, will be ready, to set on fire, the liar, the burning candle, who's time is running out.

So...just what will_ he_ do, to maintain the pretence, to drown and kill, his own ignorance, that will cause him to burn alone?

Why is he, holding his hands, into the air?

As if he cares, as if that will be enough, that will never be enough, Jackson cannot let this slide...

Both men, will be the rumour, on everyone's lips, the ghost that haunts your every waking breath.

Tell all your friends...and sound the alarm.

...

"Aaron's been talking about you, all the time, spreading the crap, spreading the lies.

I know who you are...AND HE WON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!" Jackson screamed, finding the strength, in the back of his legs, to stand, to show him he is a man, to show him what he is made of.

"You don't understand" Gordon whispered, his eyes, holding hazel eyes steadily.

"It was an accident, it was his knife, he..."

"DON'T YOU DARE, DON'T YOU DARE TARNISH HIS MEMORY, I WAS HIS BEST FRIEND, I KNEW HIM, I KNEW EVERY SINGLE DETAIL ABOUT HIM. THERE WASNT ONE OUNCE OF MALICE IN HIM..."

"No, you don't believe that, I can see it in your eyes you don't believe that, he was young, hot headed.

He was determined to keep the fight going, I, just, I beat him, roughed him up a bit, then I walked away.

But, he pulled the knife, I, had to defend myself.

He pulled it from his sock, he was, he was out of control, I tried, I tried not to use it against him, but...it was the only way to stop him.

Ano, this is hard for you to hear, because he was your best friend but, It's the truth" Gordon adamantly stated, his voice, quiet, but laced with such urgency, for Jackson to believe him.

Jackson, bowed his head, unable to communicate, what he needs to say. His world, has gone up, into flames.

"I'm so sorry Jackson, but I couldn't have gone to the police. I know who I am, but they wouldn't have believed me, the evidence is stacked up against me.

The truth, would have been blurred into murder...I didn't mean to kill him, it was an accident" Gordon said softly.

Jackson tipped his head back uncontrollably, wanting to be taken into the air, carried away, floating on currents, above the cold and evil ground.

He knew who he was now, but would they believe him?

"If I was honest with myself, Billy was highly strung, and he was full of surprises, I just, I just, I'm in shock" Jackson sobbed delicately, forcing himself to remain in control.

"Ano, it's a lot to take in" Gordon sympathized.

"But, there is just one thing...

Billy was wearing his open toe sandals...he wasn't wearing socks" Jackson whispered, with as much violence as he contained inside, before adding.

"And, you stabbed him in the back, while he was running away.

I found him, face down in a puddle, I saw the wounds, opening wide.

I know who you are, and I will never sleep, until you come to justice".

Let clarity wash through the air, let's get this straight...

Without a thought, Jackson can take it away, but that's the price the man before him will pay...for having luck, in the first place. And that is exactly what Gordon has been...lucky.

All, the little pieces, falling, shattering.

The shards, too sharp...to be put back together.

Jackson's words, lingering in the atmosphere, just noises.

Ghosts with just voices.

But Jackson, has a front row seat, as he is about to see, Gordon, on his knees.

Gordon, stunned, for Jackson knew...too much.

The day old hate, reflecting in the pupils staring opposite.

Jackson, finally found him, he found the man responsible, for the death of a star.

He found him, before he drifted away...

"If you tell Aaron, he will never forgive you, you do know that?" Gordon stated confidently.

Jackson laughed, he hysterically, uncontrollably let go of his subconscious mind, losing himself in the absurdity of the moment.

"Yeah, Aaron will be heartbroken, but, a beautiful lie, will never compete against the freedom of truth.

Because, he will finally see you, for who you are.

The man you were all along, and he will realise just what a lucky escape he had from your clutches.

People like Aaron, like me, out there now in this world still keep quiet about who they are...because of people like you.

You were the poison, in Aaron's veins, keeping him sick forever.

The best thing you ever did was kick him out, because, he was saved.

Paddy saved him...he's more of a dad than you will ever be.

You're gonna rot in hell for what you've done, but first, you will decay your days away in prison" Jackson seethed.

Gordon just stared vacantly, thinking of a way to get out of this.

"Common, say something Gordon, because I can feel you falling, I can hear your silent wishes of escape" Jackson mocked.

"I've changed" He whispered slowly.

"Too little too late" Jackson stated defiantly, emotionally, for this will be the last time Gordon will ever be here.

"It's over" Jackson said, his tone laced with sadness "it's time you get what you deserve...

You're no better than the worst".

The words, hanging in the sky, like a song.

The lyrics, playing, surrounding the room, hoping to save the world.

But the sad song, the one he made, will end up being the last song...he will ever hear.

The knife, blurring through the darkness, at the speed of sound, shooting, like a shooting star, into his core.

Crucifying him, delicately, bringing him, to his knees.

His soul, following the light, he deems brightest.

TBC


	22. The waves of love, flooding the Ocean

Chapter 22 – The waves of love, flooding the Ocean

He can't hold on, he can't hold on.

Holding on, will be like trying to hold on to water...it never stays.

Their tears, only good, to wash away the beautiful disaster, to flood the ocean.

His final hours, fading, like a flower, concluding, like the eclipse of the sun, the moon.

For he is slipping through their fingers.

They can't hold onto him.

Their waves of love, saturating his golden worth, sourcing the little energy he has left.

The power they are supplying him, electrocuting his lifeless body, praying for eternal colour to remove the drowning in his lungs, so he can breathe again.

Perfect, by nature, the world, bowed down, to stare in wonder, at the whirl wind of magical purity, that forever shines from his every pore.

For he always was, and always will be, placed on a pedestal, above their heads, an angel...with a halo.

...

"3 days, 3 days!

They said he wouldn't last 24 hours. He's a fighter, always has been, always will be. Because he knows, he knows he can't die, it's not possible. He has too much to leave behind.

Not now, not now he has everything he has ever wanted.

It was always in his nature, to love everyone unconditionally who loved him back, loyal through and through.

As a child, he used to cry, cry is heart out every year when Children in Need was on.

He couldn't bear to watch people suffering, hated it.

You know what he did?

He used to help me bake fairy cakes, then he would sell them all around the neighbourhood. He would sell some of his toys to the kids at school as well.

He always told me he was only selling the toys he no longer played with...

But I saw him taking his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures to school with him.

He begged me for months for me to get him them for Christmas.

He adored them. And he was willing to part with them, to help children he never even knew.

That's the kind of human he is" Hazel sobbed softly, Paddy listened freely, allowing her to declare the love in her heart, for the man defiantly trying to stake claim, for his right to survive within this world.

Aaron just sat, the rising and the falling of his tears, drifting into the ocean.

He sat quietly, tasting the raindrops from his eyes, the salt, smearing into his wounds.

He can't hold onto water, his husband, the ship wreck, lifeless in the next room.

All the thoughts inside his head, are begging to the gods, to bring him back to him, to return him to their son.

The last few days, are blurred into a storm, a hurricane, which holds the key to his sanity.

His logic, is spinning, spiralling into distortion, corrupted in the confinement of destruction, no signs of ever being free.

"Ok, we've done our tests for today, one of you can go and sit with him again" Nurse Summers kindly said.

No one moved, except Aaron, who silently left the room to be with his husband.

He hadn't spoken two words to anybody in days, only to communicate instructions regarding Casey.

Aaron fell into the chair next to Jackson's bed, never taking his eyes off his broken body for one moment.

But, his vacant stare, saw through his mutilation, into his spirit, which was crying out, for all who care to know.

Aaron's heart, crying out, to feel the love, like a flood, into his blood stream.

His soul, a million light years away, from the dark days, of wishing he was someone else...or dead...

"You're taking your time mate, how long do I have to wait?" He asked teasingly, tearfully.

"Casey misses ya, he's off his food, and...

He took his first steps yesterday.

I was on my way here, when your mum shouted me in, and there he was.

Walking towards me.

You should have been there, it was...it was incredible.

The doctors said you wouldn't make it this far. They gave you 24 hours to live. And now look, 3 days on and, you're still here, still holding on for us.

I knew you wouldn't leave.

Not only are you the heart of our relationship...you're the armour. You're as strong as they come.

They don't make them like you Jay, your one in a million.

And I'm ready when you are, I don't want any false starts, ano only time can heal scars. I'm ready to show you all the love you deserve, ready to show you just what you are worth"

His words, left to dissolve in the air...

The radio playing, in the back ground softly.

The lyrics, rinsing the atmosphere, washing his memory clean of the last few days, for a few moments. His lips, whispering the words gently...

"But you can't hold on to water,  
It fills you up but never stays,  
It's only good to wash away,  
Today and your loving me like water,  
You're slipping through my fingers touch,  
Natural disaster love,

bringing on the flood,  
The flood,  
Love me like a flood, the flood,  
Bring it on..."

Aaron silently crumbled, his heart, falling to the bottom of the ocean.

He can feel himself falling, he can hear the crashing of his soul, hitting the surface below.

For he was, waiting for the tide to come. To drift away all he has earned, into nothing.

For he doesn't know how to get, out of this one. To put Jackson back together again, and make him, build him to last forever.

His angel, in peril, drowning, in his sleep.

"Please Jay, open your eyes. Please don't let me wait forever, I'll do it, but I'm not sure how I would cope without you for so long.

I don't know what will be left of me, because, each day you've been here, I've been dying inside, little by little" He sobbed, the dark and desolate contents of his mind, spilling into the open.

But, Jackson, was one of a kind.

For he was an impossible superhuman, for disaster, is nothing to him.

And he is achieving the unachievable...

He is holding onto water.

The rising and the falling of his chest, working in unison with his fighting spirit.

For his eyes, are blooming back into reality.

TBC


	23. The things we never thought we could Be

Chapter 23 – The things we never thought we could Be

It's forecast to be grey again, feels like this will never end...When will he be him again?

But now, he is chasing the light that's blinding, driving him, guiding him to a different place.

A world where you will never hear drip drop...for it is only raining, in his head.

A clock is not needed, for time stands still, forever. Eternal sunlight envelopes your awakened skin, holding onto the golden rays, evident in the day, the night, constantly corrupted by a colour so bright...it burns.

He can't stop running, running into eternity. Unable to hide behind his hollow feeling, for it's stripped away from his face, it's not visible, he cannot see it, touch it.

It's just tying knots inside his core, invisible to people on the outside.

His face, painted, camouflaged into a clown.

For this unearned smile, plastered for the world to see, is a mistake, he doesn't want it there.

But it won't go, it won't leave him alone. This mask is wrong, but it's holding on, clasping onto his presence. For he should not be smiling...while he is dying inside.

The miles of blurring perfection never ending. This world is pretending, it's a world that never was, and never will be real...

it's fake, the occupants of the land, staring in wonder, are liars, they are not happy, they can never be happy in a fantasy, that contains no feeling, no emotion other than numb, frozen in time, never feeling alive again.

He reads a sign...

_Dry your armour, lay your weapons beneath the ground_

No, NO, NO! He is not ready to give up, to lose this fight, there is nothing that he would not sacrifice...to find his way back.

His eyes, full of empty threats, for the tears will never be allowed to fall...not here.

Wait...

He can hear a voice, calling his name, calling him home...

"_Please Jay, open your eyes. Please don't let me wait forever, I'll do it, but I'm not sure how I would cope without you for so long"_

Jackson listened to his words, echoing inside his skin. Reverberating within this essence of twilight. For there will be no dark, or day, as the structure of everlasting, highlights the flaws, we stumble upon in our day to day lives...but he misses them, he misses every single imperfection.

"I'm coming" Jackson whispers to himself "I'm coming back"

Jackson runs, faster than the speed of this blinding light.

He finds his weapons, he finds his armour.

He is not ready to give up this fight.

His body protection is in place, the fire in his hands is burning ferociously.

The people, gaze in shock, as Jackson leaves this so called paradise island, this ecstasy that offers, only illusions of glory... it's only foney.

For the dark and lonely is just covered up... It will never leave you.

For we are the things, we never thought, we could be.

Jumping into the water, never looking back, he swims under the ocean's surface, back into his reality.

He's coming back...he's coming home.

...

"Jay?

You came back" Aaron cried uncontrollably, just to know, he is alright.

"You're gonna be alright mate, I promise, I promise" Aaron whispered, his true emotions for his husband, lacing his tone.

For Jackson love, has taught Aaron...how to fly.

...

"He's exhausted, but he is insisting on seeing his husband, so please don't keep him talking for long" Nurse Summers urged gently.

"Tell him I love him Aaron, and that I will be there when he wakes up" Hazel told him excitedly as he left the room, her urgency to see her son, overwhelming her every breath.

Aaron smiled upon walking through the door, For Jackson's youthful essence had returned to his body, eliciting Aaron's love to no boundaries.

"Where's Casey?" Jackson asked tentatively, his voice, barely audible.

"He's fine mate, Adam's looking after him" Aaron reassured him gently.

"Well, you took your time, any longer and I would have had to start looking for another husband" Aaron teased lightly.

"Your mum says she loves you by the way, she's going mental out there" he laughed "she's just really, really missed you, even though she has been by your side the whole time, you have never felt further away.

I can't wait to get you home, I wanna touch you, hold you, and never let you go" Aaron whispered lovingly.

"You look tired" Jackson croaked painfully.

"I'm ok"

"Have you been home recently?"

"...No.

To be honest, I haven't left this room much, only to use the toilet, and when they ran their tests on you.

I couldn't leave you...

You know, they gave you your last rights.

I thought, I was never going to hear your voice again. Never feel your warm body against me...

Those mischievious eyes, that project so much innocence, so much warmth, it makes me feel on top of the world, I thought you would never open them again" His soft velvet tone, filling their ears with sadness.

Their near departure from the other, overshadowing their moment of glory, their moment in the sun, for Jackson has broke through, and survived his weakest hours.

But Aaron, has his defences, for the fear of losing him, losing the man, who never really left, are coming on so strong, they are smothering his eyes to clouded.

But Jackson, is the solution, to the depths of the pollution that runs through Aaron's veins, when the dark and corrupted closet of his mind, threatens to overcome his existence.

"A a Aaron, please don't cry, I'm here...I'm right here.

I'm tough as old boots" Jackson reassured him.

"Do you remember much, about what happened?" Aaron asked tearfully, hesitantly, needing desperately to know, but feeling so guilty in asking the question so soon.

Jackson's face, his open book, clarifying all his emotions for Aaron to understand, immediately, giving him away.

Anxiety, colliding with panic, making him feel sick forever.

Aaron lowered his head, unable to keep eye contact with his husband.

"It's ok Jay, I know, I know the truth" Aaron mumbled, with just enough sound to travel, softly through the air.

Jackson furrowed his brow in confusion.

Aaron sucked in the air around him, deeply into his lungs, before confessing all he knew.

"Pearl, saw him sneaking away from the back of the house.

It was dark but, she recognised him, from the day when he dumped me in the village.

When she found out what happened to you...she told me what she saw.

I jumped in my car, and went around his place to kill him".

Jackson gasped in horror, his breath caught between sheer fear and the velocity of his beating heart. But he was quickly soothed back into a comfortable state.

"But, Pearl had failed to tell me she had rung the police before she told me...they beat me to him. They arrested him before I could do anything...

He confessed to everything, he knew the evidence was stacked against him.

He explained how you both recognised each other, about what he did to Billy.

Then...what he did to you" Aaron wiped the tears swiftly, not ready to give in to the turmoil that keeps crashing inside of him, he is not finished what he wants to say.

"I just wish I could, I wish I could, burn him... set him on fire.

Because that's what he has done, to us.

I need to hold you, and take everything away that hurts.

And I know I can't make it alright, not right now.

But I promise, I will make everything disappear, me and Casey will chase all the traces of bad away" Aaron cried gently.

For he wants to reclaim Jackson's body, as his own, and claim all the wounds that linger on his perfect sculpture.

But the scars, will remind Jackson, that the past is real, and the tearing of his heart now open...will make him feel alive.

For there is nothing, he would not sacrifice, to make it back home, to his little world.

Aaron lifted himself from the chair, entwining his body around Jackson's, carefully, softly, moulding two halves, to full restore.

Aaron absorbed the sobs, now wracking, overwhelming his husband. The agony of the truth, at this moment in time, unable to bring him closer to closure, for his best friend.

And his journey, beyond the night sky and back, hitting home, just how lucky he truly is to stay alive.

But, he does not feel like a star, and he does not experience his shinning. Only time, can heal scars.

Only time, can relight, reignite his spark to own this world again.

For he is the cold water, yearning to be the wondrous flame.

And he will get what he deserves, he will conquer the worst, and fly, like an eagle, justifying his golden worth.

Rising from the ashes...gliding into the midnight moon.

TBC


	24. Shadows fade to Light

Chapter 24 – Shadows fade to light

December 31st 2015

All hail, the hail.

The hail, mist, fog, sleet and snow outside is of nowhere, because this really is nowhere. It could be anywhere in the world for all it mattered.

Because the centre of the universe, are roaming inside the confinement of this log cabin, under the watchful eye of the stars behind the clouds.

Had they died behind the smoke above? Because they feel so good, the anticipation is gently overpowering the air around them, making it hard for them to breath.

But that's ok, it's alright, because the world is on their side.

It feels like they have waited their whole lives for this, the months have gone by so slowly, so cruelly.

But now, they are here.

And it's finally coming...only mere hours remain.

The bells have rung out for Christmas, the sleigh bells have swiftly ridden through the midnight wind to signify the transition into the most wonderful day of the year.

But the most wonderful time of year, to them, lies in wait.

For they are ready to wave goodbye to the year that was, and never will be forgotten, but for all the wrong reasons.

Jackson's wounds have healed long ago, leaving no lasting damage, but the wounds will no doubt open wide again, when Gordon faces trial.

But the scars he has been left with, will remind him, of who he really is, for he is a cheater.

He has cheated death...and stolen life.

Jackson never got what he wanted for Christmas, and it left him feeling empty, hollow. All he wanted to unwrap on the most magical morning in the calendar...

Was new year's day.

But he was prepared to wait, he has waited more than patiently for his gift to arrive, because he knew it was worth it.

Because Jackson knows that next year will be different, and so much more.

...

Aaron was gazing out of the window, on this new year's eve night. He could see clearly through the dark, as the snow illuminated in unison with the midnight sun, allowing him to stare in wonder at the shadows of the mountains, fading to light, the white, covering every fragment of shade.

It was beautiful.

But the imagery in front of him and the feelings it stirs within him, is nothing compared to what he can hear right now...

His son is being cradled in the arms of his father, Jackson is swaying gently with him, lulling him softly to sleep...singing Casey's song, the lullaby especially made for him and him alone.

His voice is so delicate, so pure, his sweet chimes enveloping Casey into a strong sense of security, drifting him pleasantly, peacefully to sleep.

Jackson carefully stood up from the rocking chair, and placed their son into his cot.

"I wonder what he dreams about?" Jackson asked Aaron distantly, losing himself in the sleeping face of his pocket full of sunshine.

"Ask him when he wakes up" Aaron joked, still gazing at the falling white gold droplets from the sky, capturing his imagination, painting the most extraordinary illusions in his head.

"Eh, he is already stringing a few sentences together, give him a few more months and we will be able to have little conversations with him" Jackson grinned excitedly "My mum always says he is advanced for his age, taking his first steps at 9 months is really early, he definitely will go far, we should start saving up for his college fee's now" Jackson chimed, getting a little ahead of himself.

"Steady on" Aaron laughed softly "For starters he can get loans to help him cover them"

"Well...we don't want him to get too bogged down with debt do we, the rate at which the fee's keep shooting up is just ridiculous, we can at least pay for his accommodation at which ever Uni he decides to go to".

Aaron just laughed, everything he could ever possibly need is right here in this room, he couldn't ask for any more.

Jackson moved towards him, wrapping his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder, inhaling the scent from Aaron's neck. Breathing in the smoke, fuelling the fire that forever burned inside of him when the younger man was near.

"This really was a great idea you know?" Jackson whispered softly.

"I'm glad you like it, I've always wanted us to visit Scotland in the winter, been told it's an amazing place to go"

"It's beautiful, thank you for organising it, it's an incredible Christmas present" Jackson said, kissing the side of his neck and holding him tighter against his body.

Aaron hesitated, before deciding that he had to say it sooner or later "Ano it's not the Christmas present you wanted..."

"What you on about?" Jackson interjected "The Christmas present I..." Jackson's attention was captured by an unfamiliar silhouette in the garden

"What the hell is that?" Jackson stated confused.

"Well, this is what I wanted to tell you" Aaron moved from his position and took hold of his hand "Come with me" Aaron whispered, pulling him away from the bedroom quietly, to avoid waking their sleeping son.

They each stepped out into the winter wonderland, their feet absorbed deep beneath the snow on the ground, moving slowly towards the source.

Once they reached their destination, Jackson was the first to speak.

"Aaron, why in the hell is our Christmas tree laying 6 feet in the ground?" Jackson asked perplexed, eyeing the younger man expectantly, needing clarity to wash through the situation.

"Well" Aaron began hesitantly "I knew this was what you wanted more than anything else in the world so..."

"You thought I wanted to bury the Christmas tree?" Jackson interrupted, teasing lightly, although this was making absolutely no sense!

Jackson sees the tree, but can't work it out, it seems it's written, but he can't read between the lines.

"No, I know you want to put this year behind you, and start afresh" Aaron softly stated.

He saw the memories, the painful memories flash before his eyes, as if watching the devastating events running across dark whirlpools at the speed of light, before he gently continued.

"I know this year hasn't been all bad, we got the best gift the world could give us...we got Casey.

But, but since, you know, I could see it in your eyes you have been counting down the months for this day, I know it's the closure we both need...

So, I thought we could use this Christmas tree as a symbol, a symbol of the year. Our way of burying the painful memories underground.

The year that never was... and never will be.

So, what do you say?" Aaron urged, picking up two spades covered in white on the ground.

Jackson could only smile, taking the spade from his hand, leaning in to cover his husbands lips with his.

Words failed him, but the sweetness of his, filling his mind, pushing his senses wild.

His life really does have it all, and then some!

They set to work, shovelling snow over the symbol, the symbol of hurt, lies, betrayal and devastation.

But they can feel a sense of peace, crashing over them, surging through their every vein.

It's over...and now the new beginning has only just begun.

Just as they added the final touches of snow and earth to the burial, they looked up towards the sky, absorbing themselves in the freedom of fireworks now illuminating the tranquil setting above with laps of colour, working in unison with the brilliant stars that are shinning, just for them.

The chimes of the town hall clock chiming 12 times, symbolising the transition into another year.

"Happy New Year Jackson" Aaron said, moving closer, wrapping his arms around his body "I promise you Jay...next year will be different, and so much more".

"Can't wait" Jackson grinned profusely, hugging him tightly back.

TBC


End file.
